harp: (LolWut?)
John William Warde - DeathAndReality.com

I've been going here lots lately. It's really graphic stuff, so aside from that article, don't go searching the page unless you want a lot of colored photographs of re-e-eally graphic deaths.

Thanks, Idolhands, for the nudge. I've been meaning to get back here at least to get back to ONTDCreepy, my favorite community. I just haven't wanted to write anything in my journal. Massive, massive depression going on. They have me going to therapy five days a week now; no joke. Some upstate program called PROS. It was this or get locked up in the hospital again. Yeah, that happened, too, from December 20th to the 26th back in 2013. There's no internet in the hospital. How are you supposed to live like that? Not even a radio to distract you while you try to sleep, so the bad thoughts just keep coming and oh, it's just a mess. But I did meet three really nice people. I've gotta e-mail one of them again. She's such a great lady. I really hope she's ok.
harp: (Default)
It's finals week, and I'm not going to be OK until Friday. Each test is 200 Questions and if it's a continuation(ish) of last semester's class, stuff from January up until now will appear on the tests.

We started with Microbiology and Funeral Home Directing. The Micro final was described as "nasty", and it sure was. The first 100 Questions were from Semester One, thankfully, but the second set came from the 100+ microbes, their pathogenicities, common names, AKAs, portals of entry/exit, modes of transmission, and the AKAs for their pathogenicities. Stuff like

-The organism Yeseria Pestis's mode of transmission is?
-What is the AKA for the disease given by Aspergillus Fumigatus?
-Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever is caused by (choices are not the names of organisms, but "Bacillus? Streptococci? Streptococcus? Staphylococcus?)
- Q-Fever is caused by (A Rickettsia? A bacteria? A Virus? A Chlamidia? A Spore Former? Two of these? None of these?)
- Psittacosis is transmitted how?
- Franciella Tularensis is (Viscerotrophic? Pneumotrophic? Three more Like This? Two of these answers are correct? None of these are correct?)

I think I did alright enough.
More on Finals, Mood, Frowning Times )

I'm not optimistic about those last three finals. I realize that in these entries it's customary to comment with the "you can do it!" messages, and that's very kind, but I'm not going to take them well. I'm doing my best, but fully expecting a Bad News Phone Call on Monday or Tuesday saying either

(A)"second chance final?"
This is the preferable of the two, I suppose. Since these finals are literally One Half of our Final Grade, if the final wasn't high enough for a passing grade (75%) then a student can take a second chance final. That's if you failed, at maximum, two subjects. Three Subjects and forget it. And lest we forget, Even if a student got A's in everything else, if their final grade in one class is, say, a 73? That's the end of the line; they'll have to re-take that entire semester. I'm thinking that the Dreaded Phone Call will come about Anatomy and/or Path.

(B) "See ya in January!"
And even this I'm gearing up to face. Yeah, it's that bad.

I've got so many feelings about how this all came to pass, and they're the type that unless explained in tl;dr detail, look really, really bad. I'll let them out on the 9th or so, when I know my Final Disposition.

I sure could use some Hardcore Lovely Distraction on Friday/Saturday/Sunday, so I'm camping on Gtalk on that day. Except maybe Sunday. Sunday, I'm thinking of taking a Soma Vacation, so that at least if Hell comes on Monday, I'll be too doped up to care much.
harp: (Default)
And I'm studying like a mad eejit with these self-quizzes I made.

Expectations:





And then watch as the reality is:


:( Save me, Santa Muerte.

Good news: We got a mock Anatomy final. I was convinced, on leaving, that I'd gotten a 60 at best. A few days later, Professor MicroBio Teacher came in and said that the grades were abysmal and that she was worried for us.
Got back my grade, fully expecting a big ol' F. Instead, got an 86. Which is my lowest grade in anatomy, but far better than I expected. Guess I do know the stuff and I don't need to puke myself sick over that final, at least.

Ah well, back to Biz Law. Don't take offense if I'm wickedly silent until the 10th.
harp: (Puh-Puh-Puh-Poker Face)
-Chicago was determined to spit on me as much as earthly possible before I left and make my trip home a real bitch. On the way to the train station )

- Don't Panic- there are still only 2 ships in the Harry Potter world and if you don't sail on one, you are on the other, even if you don't know it. (H P Fandom, Y U No use brains? DA-Birds, Y U No understand humor?)

- [livejournal.com profile] heron_advocate, when's your gifting day (the day we give you gifts)? You should request some art. It's more productive.

- City day Tuesday: Catching up with Zero, going to hospital (:DDD), picking up Rx

- While I was on the train, I drew Ackley, my serial killer character from The Hitchhiker Diaries RP (;n;). S'not done yet, but it's fun.

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