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The first three tests (Microbiology, Anatomy, Funeral Directing) went incredibly well. The one we had on embalming on Friday... not so well. Fortunately, I'm not the only one.
Our very first test was on the history of embalming, and wow, is there a lot of history. Who invented the Trochar? Who got caught photographed embalming in the Civil War and made it so that we have to get licenses? Who invented embalming fluid? Who was the first black embalmer?
Professor M must've known we were worried, because he trolled us gewd with the first test. I kid you not, these are some of the items in the "match the name to the things" part of the exam:
"Discovered Capillaries"
"Invented the Trochar"
"Father of embalming"
"Father of modern embalming"
"Embalmed Lincoln"
"Did none of these things"
And then this one: "Derp's Catacomb is named after him" with Joe Derp and William Derp right next to each other as options in the names column.
The first black embalmer was a man named Prince Greere. The other class had that as a multiple choice question. With the other answers multiple spellings of Greere, including "Green". I could practically see the trollface/rage comic spawning from that. I'll probably make it one.
I finally got around to inviting this girl that sits on the other side of the room and wears a black and white striped scarf all the time into our studying group, and it wasn't scary at all. She's incredibly cute and (get this) about my height, maybe even a titch shorter. Aquarius, too. It's always Aquarius.
These situations don't come up much, but they're annoying if I think about it too much. It's like... she's cute, but who cares? I can't really do anything about it because (and this is hard to explain), there's nothing to be done about it. Sure I know what other people would do.
"Tell her you think she's cute."
Why?
"Maybe she'll go out with you."
But I don't want to go out with her.
"Why not?"
I'm not interested, it would cut into my alone time, I'd have to talk and tell her things, she'd probably expect me to want to kiss and stuff or hang out outside of class.
"Thought you said she was cute."
She is! Very!
"So don't you want to do something about it?"
I... what are my options?
"Ask her out."
I'm really, really not interested in that.
"What would you do if she asked you out? Hypothetically."
Get really uncomfortable and feign oblivion and make up an excuse as I did so, but be glad that this means we're friends.
What can you do? Nothing. "My blood type is B. There was a lady in a red coat on the subway today. I think you're super cute, and it's a lot of fun, and that makes me really happy." Those are all the same when I say them, but people have reactions of various types to the last one.
"I wish you were asexual, too, so we could be asexual aromantic together." I can't even explain that to you guys, and I'm laughing about how it can't be explained! "Well... that's when we say to each other 'wow, you're cute, I like you' and then we never, ever, ever talk about it again or acknowledge it, and hardly talk to each other, but we leave each other unsigned little general notes and maybe a few times a year for no reason tiny inexpensive gifts for no reason. We never say thank you for these, we merely express our delight as though the other isn't there (but they probably are listening). To put it in the most blunt of terms bordering on crass and a bit overstated, we don't date anyone at all, but we're not dating each other a little less than we're not dating everyone else in the world." Think Dwight and Angela from The Office seasons 1-5, but subtract the sex and the cute name calling. Torrented that show and have been watching it lately before bed. I especially like the whole not-looking-at-each-other-to-talk thing.
What can I do but keep it to myself? For everyone's sake. It's common courtesy to do so.
Our very first test was on the history of embalming, and wow, is there a lot of history. Who invented the Trochar? Who got caught photographed embalming in the Civil War and made it so that we have to get licenses? Who invented embalming fluid? Who was the first black embalmer?
Professor M must've known we were worried, because he trolled us gewd with the first test. I kid you not, these are some of the items in the "match the name to the things" part of the exam:
"Discovered Capillaries"
"Invented the Trochar"
"Father of embalming"
"Father of modern embalming"
"Embalmed Lincoln"
"Did none of these things"
And then this one: "Derp's Catacomb is named after him" with Joe Derp and William Derp right next to each other as options in the names column.
The first black embalmer was a man named Prince Greere. The other class had that as a multiple choice question. With the other answers multiple spellings of Greere, including "Green". I could practically see the trollface/rage comic spawning from that. I'll probably make it one.
I finally got around to inviting this girl that sits on the other side of the room and wears a black and white striped scarf all the time into our studying group, and it wasn't scary at all. She's incredibly cute and (get this) about my height, maybe even a titch shorter. Aquarius, too. It's always Aquarius.
These situations don't come up much, but they're annoying if I think about it too much. It's like... she's cute, but who cares? I can't really do anything about it because (and this is hard to explain), there's nothing to be done about it. Sure I know what other people would do.
"Tell her you think she's cute."
Why?
"Maybe she'll go out with you."
But I don't want to go out with her.
"Why not?"
I'm not interested, it would cut into my alone time, I'd have to talk and tell her things, she'd probably expect me to want to kiss and stuff or hang out outside of class.
"Thought you said she was cute."
She is! Very!
"So don't you want to do something about it?"
I... what are my options?
"Ask her out."
I'm really, really not interested in that.
"What would you do if she asked you out? Hypothetically."
Get really uncomfortable and feign oblivion and make up an excuse as I did so, but be glad that this means we're friends.
What can you do? Nothing. "My blood type is B. There was a lady in a red coat on the subway today. I think you're super cute, and it's a lot of fun, and that makes me really happy." Those are all the same when I say them, but people have reactions of various types to the last one.
"I wish you were asexual, too, so we could be asexual aromantic together." I can't even explain that to you guys, and I'm laughing about how it can't be explained! "Well... that's when we say to each other 'wow, you're cute, I like you' and then we never, ever, ever talk about it again or acknowledge it, and hardly talk to each other, but we leave each other unsigned little general notes and maybe a few times a year for no reason tiny inexpensive gifts for no reason. We never say thank you for these, we merely express our delight as though the other isn't there (but they probably are listening). To put it in the most blunt of terms bordering on crass and a bit overstated, we don't date anyone at all, but we're not dating each other a little less than we're not dating everyone else in the world." Think Dwight and Angela from The Office seasons 1-5, but subtract the sex and the cute name calling. Torrented that show and have been watching it lately before bed. I especially like the whole not-looking-at-each-other-to-talk thing.
What can I do but keep it to myself? For everyone's sake. It's common courtesy to do so.