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This is another Death!School entry. Since there's no more "did I pass?!" anxiety, I wanted to tell you about my embalming final. We can all have a laugh about it.
As you know, Embalming is the most important class I have, since I don't want to own my own funeral home. So of course, I studied like crazy for this final. Our teacher's one of those jovial-yet-eccentric types- imagine Ralph Kramden in a good, confident mood and if he ran a funeral home. Let me tell you about this final exam he gave us. I am not exaggerating or kidding about any of this.
We start off "easy" with a question any teacher would give to make sure someone is paying attention. What is the standard rate of pressure for a normal embalming case?
Two answers with the number 16 in them. One says "pounds per hour", though, when it should be "pounds per minute".
But then we get into stuff like this-
Question: What is the tool used for raising an artery or vein?
The answer is "an aneurysm hook". These were the answers we had to choose from:
a. Anuerysm hook
b. Anyuresm hook
c. Aneurysm hook
d. Anurysm hook
If you didn't look away, go to a separate page, and write "aneurysm" the way you knew how to spell it, you could get pretty confused. Especially considering there were other little typos in the exam.
Here's what's so scary about typos + questions like that.
We learned the term "Agonal algor", which is a pre-death drop in temperature. On the final exam, we were faced with this question in the true/false section:
True/False: Algonal Algor is a pre-death drop in temperature
... Did he mean to write it that way? We know it's "Agonal Algor", and it's easy to see how he could've slipped, but... if we write "true" is he gonna think we think it's "algonal"? If we write false, is he going to know it's because of the typo? And he wasn't even in the room giving us our final, so we couldn't ask. To complicate things further, right at the start of the exam, our proctors told us "For the embalming final, mark down D for question 65" so maybe he checked it for errors and maybe...
Every time I take one of his tests, I feel like if I look up at him, he'll somehow have trollface superimposed over his head and he'll be wearing a shirt that says "problem?"
As you know, Embalming is the most important class I have, since I don't want to own my own funeral home. So of course, I studied like crazy for this final. Our teacher's one of those jovial-yet-eccentric types- imagine Ralph Kramden in a good, confident mood and if he ran a funeral home. Let me tell you about this final exam he gave us. I am not exaggerating or kidding about any of this.
We start off "easy" with a question any teacher would give to make sure someone is paying attention. What is the standard rate of pressure for a normal embalming case?
Two answers with the number 16 in them. One says "pounds per hour", though, when it should be "pounds per minute".
But then we get into stuff like this-
Question: What is the tool used for raising an artery or vein?
The answer is "an aneurysm hook". These were the answers we had to choose from:
a. Anuerysm hook
b. Anyuresm hook
c. Aneurysm hook
d. Anurysm hook
If you didn't look away, go to a separate page, and write "aneurysm" the way you knew how to spell it, you could get pretty confused. Especially considering there were other little typos in the exam.
Here's what's so scary about typos + questions like that.
We learned the term "Agonal algor", which is a pre-death drop in temperature. On the final exam, we were faced with this question in the true/false section:
True/False: Algonal Algor is a pre-death drop in temperature
... Did he mean to write it that way? We know it's "Agonal Algor", and it's easy to see how he could've slipped, but... if we write "true" is he gonna think we think it's "algonal"? If we write false, is he going to know it's because of the typo? And he wasn't even in the room giving us our final, so we couldn't ask. To complicate things further, right at the start of the exam, our proctors told us "For the embalming final, mark down D for question 65" so maybe he checked it for errors and maybe...
Every time I take one of his tests, I feel like if I look up at him, he'll somehow have trollface superimposed over his head and he'll be wearing a shirt that says "problem?"