The Original Haus of Ron Abuse

I haven't updated in a while... so today I think I'll explain the personalities of the different numbers.

I never told anyone at the time, but when I was learning to add and subtract, the numbers had personalities. Most of them anyway. I honestly don't believe I gave them the personalities intentionally. It was just the way they felt based on their shape or something about them.
( Neatly Labeled Number Rundown )
I'm just now learning that this is supposed to be a form of synesthesia. If it is, it figures that I'd get the lamest form. I'd really like to have one that was associated with colors. The only real synesthetic moment I can really remember was in high school orchestra. I accidentally played a super loud note on the trumpet. Since I was quiet and nervous about playing, everyone turned around and was trying to be encouraging about it.

I was looking horrified, I'm sure and was staring at the ground, and I'll do my best to explain why. To me, the sound had the physical form of a giant, heavy soap bubble/water balloon. My eyes and my feet and the rest of my body were telling me that a big water balloon had just been dropped on the floor and it had sloshed over everything. I remember thinking "Oh my God, but it was so wet it's sloshed all over everything!" And I wanted to look up and say "But it's all over everything! Why are you cheerful? It went splosh and it got all over...!". Like a big paint ball. I didn't have the words to describe it, though, so it didn't seem like anything I needed to say.

Anyway, I wish I had more synesthesia like that. The numbers thing is just annoying. Although I'm sure glad letters don't have personalities or colors. That'd be a friggin disaster.

Let's talk about it! You have any stuff like this or similar? I miss our discussions.

LJ, you ugly. I'm crossposting my stuff to Dreamwidth.
You can comment wherever; I'm not leaving - too many of you here and too many memories. Add me and stuff.

----

DeathSchool is not over yet- my month for taking the Great Big Death Test is August. That's all I'd like to say about that matter.Until then, more interning, more reading, and most importantly, driving lessons. Lots and lots of those. We're not even allowed jobs unless we have those. Lucky for me, I found a school that specializes in drivers with varying issues, like nerves and stuff. My driving teacher is super nice. He says he's the one who specializes in anxious cases.

More importantly, I'm looking for a really fantastic Windows XP installation disk or program so I can fix my main lappy. It got... sick somehow and has been sick for a year. I've got my netbook, but I can't run my tablet on it, which means no drawing (among other things). Everything's on external hard drives, so it wouldn't be so bad if I had to reinstall XP, but I would rather not.

Researching other solutions to the problem, but I'd really like to get this fixed by March. I can do this... if I can go through those million pain-and-a-half steps and successfully root my friggin HTC Rezound then I can do this.

This Story from Morgue that might Upset You

On my last day at Morgue, and I had one of my surreal dreams come true.

Background: I've had a few dreams where my mouth is full of dry skin, like the kind from chapped lips. I keep spitting it out, but it's endless. Not just lip, but parts of the insides of my mouth. I also have the bad habit of chewing the insides of my mouth. If my nerves are bad enough, I can tear tiny strips off.

So as you know, we practice embalming on unclaimed corpses. We clean them up, find the appropriate arteries for injection, and prepare them to be buried in Potter's Field.

My group was cleaning up a woman who had been dead for three months. She had skin slip really, really bad- that's when there's water beneath the top layer of skin and the skin kinda peels off. It's not strictly for the dead- You might'a had it on the soles of your feet at some point.

After we were done and moving her into a body bag, I was told to grab her feet (nobody else in my group wanted to, but it was necessary to move her in a dignified way). I'm sure you can guess where this is going.

We never communicate very well in morgue (I mean, five students are all working on one body), so while I had her feet, two classmates were moving her by her arms. As they pulled at an inopportune time, I felt a super slimy sensation going on, and when I looked, my black mortuary gloves were totally covered in clumped up wet skin.

I just stopped and stared at my hands. I wasn't grossed out or fascinated. I was just like "...hu." That's the only way I can describe my feeling, just "...hu". And I thought This is just like in those dreams.. And Miss, I am so, so sorry. I really am.

I wanted to share that with you guys because it was just... strange. And I tried to tell one of my classmates, but she was utterly squicked and revolted. She doesn't like going to morgue.

Monday: No phone call from the school so far to say that I bombed the final and need to take another one. So either they'll call early tomorrow or I'm actually clear. Clear to worry about Chemistry and all of the other things that want worrying about, that is.

Today: Got a text from classmate El. Dean Smith made all the scary phone calls yesterday, and since I didn't get one, that means I'm moving on to semester two of McAllister School for Deathcraft and Deathery.


The next semester starts on the last day of the month. I'll be looking at
Chemistry (Aieee scary! D:)
Pathology (wherein we sit and listen to the teacher describe various diseases and we imagine we're getting them)
Color and Cosmology (make the dead sexy)
Accounting (Yeeeeah, math... I don't know how to math...)
Anatomy II (bones, bones, bones)
Other classes I can't recall right now

And, of course, embalming II. Every week, there's a thing called "Morgue" which is 'zactly what it sounds like- we go to the morgue and we embalm John and Jane Does. I really wish I could take pictures, but that would get me kicked out of school quicker than blinking :(

Going to go search for youtube videos about chemistry now. Wish this headache would go away.

Business Law, Small Business Management, Anatomy, Microbiology, History of Funeral Service, Sociology of Funeral service, Embalming, and Funeral Home directing. Those are the tests I have next week. This week, rather.

I am doing just terribly in those first two. You would not believe how bad. Well... technically I'm only doing badly in one of them, but I'm not sure which because we have them both on Mondays and I can't tell one test from another. So I'll just say I'm doing poorly in both.

Doctor MicroBio says it's because I put all my studying effort into Anatomy and Microbiology. She has a point, but at the same time, I can't help it. I'm not good at science. Or I don't think that I am, which is just as bad (psychologically speaking) when it comes to tests so if I don't study extra hard for those things,

This is kind of a "hell of an unsatisfactory situation" having tests in all of these. It also doesn't help much that for law and business, there's this "feck-all" attitude because we don't talk about death. But it's required.

I always hate reading about people's grades and how they're doing in school, which is why the cut is here. Additional thoughts and lulz about said classes follow.

Sociology of Funeral Service
Confession: I have trolled in this class.

It was the second time meeting and I was still shy. Our teacher, a dear woman who is very enthusiastic, was doing the "go-around-the-room-and-make-each-person-answer" thing, and she asked me twice to speak up. "If you're going to be a funeral director, you've gotta be outgoing and speak up!" She had a point, yes. Just not one that applied to me. I was feeling like I had a spotlight on me already, and then, a few minutes later

Teacher: In fact, what's your religion? *Points to the first person in the first row*
First person: Catholicism
Teacher *points to next person*
Next person: Anglican

Dear God, that's a bit of a personal question, isn't it? I don't really want to-

Teacher: *Points to Harp*
Harp: *Says something quietly*
Teacher: What was that?
Harp: *A little louder, but not understood*
Teacher: Wait, what was that?
Harp: *dead pokerface*... Cthulhuism
Teacher: I... what's that?
Harp: It's a subsection of Lovecraftianism.
Teacher: Is that like Paganism?
Harp: Not at all.
Teacher: Can you spell that for us? *Writes on the board "Cthulhuism" and "Lovecraftianism"* Alright! I'm going to have to look that up! *Moves on to next person*
Harp: *Feels better*

I regret nothing. Shuttie.

( Additional Lul )

And on Friday, unexpectedly, the super-duper-mega adorable cute girl with the striped scarf walked right up next to me on the start of the walk home. "Hey, Harp! I thought about you last week!" she said, "My friend was telling me about a geeky burlesque show and last week's theme was Cthulhu!" We talked the eight/ten blocks home. I barely noticed the walk.

I better get the heck to sleep. Feels better now that I got all of that out. Really should X-post this to my DeadJournal.

Heiyo Death School!



No picture this week, but I'm updating at least. ( Right! )

Who wants pictures from my embalming book?! :DDD

Promise I'll get back to my drawing and links and fun things next post. This one's sort of important.

While I don’t know what most of you look like, I can think of only three perople on my Flist who might relate to what I’m saying (because I’ve spoken to them directly about it). I swear that the entry’s only reason for existing is to say this- “Here are some downsides I’ve noticed regarding my weight”.
I mean, I'd like it if someone on my flist read this and for the first time got to open up and have a happy!bitching session about being skinny, and I'd like it if someone read this and it reaffirmed a "healthy is the real ideal" (or "thin isn't a rose garden") mentality, but I'm keeping the goals real here. And even though this is my journal, if I said something you thought was wrong, tell me. I tried not to use the word "fat" because... Iunno, it kinda feels like a "that's our word" kinda thing.

The last thing I want this entry to look like is this. Hell yes I’m asexual. Hell no, I don’t think I’m “oppressed”. I know I’ve got it pretty good as far as sexualities and genetics. I know that the unkind remarks made about my weight are really lacking. I know that there are plenty of people that wish they had my “problem” of having long bouts of disliking food.

Harpsiccord journal entry explaining the dangerous/emotional side of my weighty issue. Click it if you get too mad at this entry.

( About Being a Slenderman )

( But First you have to sit through my Drawin'... )

That's not watcha came here for. You came here for

Copy-Pasta this code into the comments and fill out. Erase any questions you don’t want to answer. Read the other comments. Comment on others' comments. Chatter and spam my journal talking to one-another. Come back whenever you like. Pick up new RPers. Make friends. I am excite.

Hello! I’m <b>(what shall we call you?</b> and I’ve been RPing for <b>(how long?)</b>. I’m currently <b>(open to RPer requests/Not open to new RPs/Just looking for friends/Just fillin this out for the Herp of it)</b>. I RP over <b>(your RP mediums)</b>. If you feel like contacting me for a game, hit me up on <b>(Screen name, PM, e-mail, comments here)</b> <b>Three to ten genres of RP I just love:</b> <u>The Sacred Art of Bonding through Dishing</u> <b>Tell us about one challenging thing in RP that you’ve gone through or that you’re perpetually going through:</b> <b>Do you have any RP pet peeves?</b> <b>Gripes about the current state of RPing?</b> <b>How about stuff you <i>just don’t do</i> in RP</b> <b>Go on, tell us an RP horror story from your past. Please.</b> <u>Fun Questions!</u><br /><b>Introduce us to one of your characters from any game ever</b> (Note: if you played only canon, tell us about one you really made your own) <b>Which two characters (that you've played) would you like on your team for the outbreak of the zombie virus? </b> <b>You ever have a severe disagreement with your character? Well, if you did, what would it likely be about?</b>

There is no such thing as “late” to this meme, so don’t even.

Edit: I forgot to ask you for your genres and the editor was being a sunuva, so... I've added that now.

Edit #2: ( Roving Commentary )

*Roy Blount Jr. will be at the Barnes and Nobles on May 17th! You better believe I'll be there to see him and get something signed. I might bring him a gift, too, if I can think of one. He's my very favorite pannelist on Wait Wait.

*Went to Evolution, bought a squid preserved in a jar of alcohol. He's my pet now :)

*Applying to mortuary school nearly complete. The medical forms require more shots, which is a right (expensive) pain. Got a tetanus shot, which did not hurt as much as I thought it would. Which is to say, it did not hurt at all.

*But! I finally hit on the way to write my essay! I just have to sit in the woods to do it. Funny story there- walking back after eleven, I hear something walking. Nervously, I stopped to listen, wondering what kinda scary thing it could be. What should come up about two feet from me and pause? Why a cute li'l skunk!
Of course, I just stayed still and waited for it to move, which it did after a minute. Wish I could've seen it better. I do believe this was my first ever encounter with a skunk.

*Texted Jeffie. Asked him if he thought I was secretive. He wrote back "um... YES", becoming another person on the list. This has elevated itself to meme status here in Harp!World. NC loves, why didn't anybody tell me they thought I was secretive before? And what is it that you want to know? I'm opening this post up to questions, because I just don't get what I'm hiding. I'll try to answer the questions as honestly as I can. The worst that'll happen will be that I'll give a joke answer and realize "oh... that's what they mean."

*LJ! Y U no work good? That Denial of Service attack was some kinda pain. Yet it never occurred to me to go to Facebook... haven't been there in a while. Guess I should go check on things.

*Oh, right, Tyler Tagged me so there's that. I answered these already, but I then re-answered some because my first answers were from a bad mood.

*Been drawing like a mad eejit lately. The most recent one was gift!art to an online friend from France. It's my favorite Femmeslash pairing (Hermione/Lavender) but it's kinky and naughty, so even though I love how it came out, I uploaded it to TinyPic and it's only available on request. Don't want people thinking things...


Anyway, here's some art. It's all Vampire RPG Fan Art since I had a list of art ideas for it.
( It Sucks to be Undead )

Hey Flist, tell me some things!
~What fandom have you been spending a lot of time in lately?
~For those of you that RP (any kind), do you have folders or playlists dedicated to certain games? I've had one for every game since last year.
~Telephones and you: please tell me about it. Any of you get phone call anxiety?

Have you gotten a chance to listen to Lady Gaga's new song?
I sure have. (Excess stuff is behind the cuts; feel free to skip)

I felt like Lady Gaga wrote it just for the rainbow crowd. She did, of course, but I mean as a gift to us.
( Society + Gay = OTP )

Because of all of that, at some point in my mind I twisted "Born This Way" into something it was never meant to be. I wasn't thinking of it as a song at all, but as a weapon.
( Rainbow Ray Gun! )

I wasn't thinking of myself or my musical tastes, but about what other people would say and think. I count three ironies.

The lyrics leaked a few days ago. I read them and instantly I was apprehensive. I mean, even I couldn't ignore how... how "in your face" they looked. Oh, Gaga, how can you make this work? I thought. I wasn't excited. I was disappointed by how heavy-handed it was. How would this be received?

As it dawned on me that I'd have to listen to it, too, I began to feel afraid of how much I'd like it. My musical tastes vary, but if I don't like a song, it'll take an act of severe psychology for me to give it a second try. If I didn't like Born This Way, I'd have to wait another lifetime to get another mainstream radio-played song that mentioned GLB explicitly. And I could just forget about hearing a song which says "transgender".

( Why this song was so important )

Finally, as I tried to draw, I thought "screw it, don't save it. If you build it up, it'll never live up to your own hype."[2] So I played it for the first time.

My eyes were tearing up. Not kidding.

There's nothing to say about the song as far as I'm concerned. I don't want to build it up or try to sell it to people who have not heard it. Hell, I don't even want to sell it to people who heard it and find that it isn't pleasing to their ears because of their musical tastes.

I like it. It's relevant to me. Therefore, this song is for me. That's all.

I will say that reading the lyrics cold and judging the song based on just that (even if you plan to change your mind and give it a chance after) is a bad idea, and I regret my impatience. With the music, it makes so. Much. Sense.[3]

A lot of the fans on thehausofgaga were disappointed with the song, which I understand. It's more happy, more 90's pop, and that doesn't sound good to everyone's ears. And heck, there are a lot of Gaga's songs that are popular that I just don't like (like all but four of "The Fame Monster"...). I feel really sorry for the fans who were disappointed in it because I saw how long they waited and how excited they were. Letdowns suck. It's not as though they can help not liking it. We can't choose what we like (as Gaga said!).

Hey... y'know, I just realized that if I hadn't liked this song, I wouldn't have disappointed her! Even if it was a gift! 'Cause the gift is saying "you don't choose what you like, you just happen to like it because that's how you are!"

Oh, Gaga, you brilliant Mama Monster who loves us all so! I probably won't like a few songs on the new album either :3

That being said, there will be people that I'll have to defend this song to. Not the ones who say "I don't like this song" but the people who have commentary beyond "it's not my musical style."
( Warning- If you're on my Friends List, NONE of this applies to you. ) As for me? The song helps me. I like it and when I'm upset, I'll probably need it. And I'm not the only one who feels that way. Dislike Born This Way all you want, but please keep it at "I don't like it ". Remarks about the lyrics being "bad" are about as called for as taking the "I believe in and love you" note someone's parent/guardian put into his backpack and saying "this is drivel".

[1]First idiot who says "What about Katy Perry?" in seriousness and isn't trolling (who doesn't love a good lol Trolling?) about it is going to get an earful. Seriously- love it or hate it, if you don't understand that "I Kissed a Girl" is offensive, you need to ask someone.
[2] By the way, let me say that on reflection this is the kind of song that shouldn't be built up. Ever. It's a song that should find someone who needs it. If it's built up, it won't work. You need to be alone and it just come on. Then it's just like a needed voice telling you "hey, look, you're ok. ... And shoot, I am really glad it didn't find me like that. If I was feeling miserable about my issues and turned on the radio and this came on and I heard it for the first time, I'd cry hard.
[3]I'm glad I read the lyrics first because i would've been actual crying if I didn't know already what was coming somewhat. Though I wouldn't understand half of what she was saying.

I'm probably late as flip on this. Forgive me; I generally get my news from Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me about a week late. You've probably heard about the flooding in Queensland already.

Thing is, I've got a frie- a bro out there in one of the tinier towns and I'm really worried. Not just about her, but about her husband, her step-daughter, her fish (they're her darlings), and her neighbor boy that she's really good friends with. Really worried about neighbor-boy, actually. I just looked on one of the maps and it looks like her town was hit pretty hard.

I should've known- her last post on the 3rd was talking about the non-stop rain and how people were having to fly to work. Though in a way, I should be happy, I guess. If she knew how bad it was on the third, maybe it means she and her family were getting flood preparation in place by then. She's got one of the quickest minds I've ever encountered, and as for planners, you couldn't find better ones outside of trained pros.

'Course I'm just saying the things I want someone else to say to me. I'm so worried. Even if she's ok, I'm wondering about that neighbor boy.



Yeah, so...if you're able to send a donation, any at all, won't you? For the people whose own "Grue"(s) aren't so fortunate or resourceful or tactical practical. But money's really tight right now, so if all you can spare are really, really powerful good thoughts, that's good, too.