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Promise I'll get back to my drawing and links and fun things next post. This one's sort of important.
While I don’t know what most of you look like, I can think of only three perople on my Flist who might relate to what I’m saying (because I’ve spoken to them directly about it). I swear that the entry’s only reason for existing is to say this- “Here are some downsides I’ve noticed regarding my weight”.
I mean, I'd like it if someone on my flist read this and for the first time got to open up and have a happy!bitching session about being skinny, and I'd like it if someone read this and it reaffirmed a "healthy is the real ideal" (or "thin isn't a rose garden") mentality, but I'm keeping the goals real here. And even though this is my journal, if I said something you thought was wrong, tell me. I tried not to use the word "fat" because... Iunno, it kinda feels like a "that's our word" kinda thing.
The last thing I want this entry to look like is this. Hell yes I’m asexual. Hell no, I don’t think I’m “oppressed”. I know I’ve got it pretty good as far as sexualities and genetics. I know that the unkind remarks made about my weight are really lacking. I know that there are plenty of people that wish they had my “problem” of having long bouts of disliking food.
Harpsiccord journal entry explaining the dangerous/emotional side of my weighty issue. Click it if you get too mad at this entry.
Recent Googletalk conversation between Harp and Jack
me: Are you underweight?
Jack: I am. How did you know XD
me: Are most people in your area very thin?
Jack: nope
me: It's one of those issues.
You know.
WE know the problems we have. "I don't really like food" or "all the food I like doesn't put weight on me"
And all everyone else hears is "WAAAH, Every time I count my hundred dollar bills, my fingers get all tired!!"
"My favorite limo clashes with my Tuesday butler's shoes! BOO HOO" is what you may as well be writing.
Jack: LOL yeahhh
The chore of eating
Is it just me or does it seem like everyone who is underweight accused of doing it purposely? It is. Since overweight people are accused of having no self-discipline, it stands to reason that underweight would be considered super!disciplined. Meaning "if you wanna lose weight, work. If you want to gain, just relax and it’ll come easy".
I realize what a bizarre concept it is. “If you’re hungry, you’ll eat and you won’t die.” It should be easy. Here's why it isn't.
Imagine sitting down to dinner and having a huge plate of pasta, your favorite drink, a chicken salad, and for dessert there’s cake. Now imagine sitting there at the end, all happy and you get up to leave, and your mom says “what are you doing?”
“I’m done, mumsy.”
“No, you’re not, have some more.”
So ya sit down and have a little bit more, one third of what you had, just to make her happy. And you’re really full now- forget LJ, you need to sleep. But your mom is looking at you very disappointed.
“That’s not enough to sustain you. You’re going to get sick, you know, if you don’t eat more.”
That’s what it’s like. You get full really fast and eating becomes like a chore. That's something I'd like people to know about the food-aversed thin. It doesn't mean we're free to eat whatever we want at all. Stomach space is prime real estate and I've definitely gone a day when all I've had was a Mrs. Field's cookie and felt full all day. We have to pick what we eat because once it goes in, we won't have the capacity to fit anymore, no matter how delicious we find the food.
Oh, and this might be just me, but here's something gross: you know you're in trouble when you have a cigarette and halfway through, you look at it and go "uugh, can't finish this; too full". I wish I was joking about that.
Stomachs that LOLTroll
me: Have you ever gotten full just cooking something?
Jack: hahah yes
I really don't like cooking though. I do sandwiches when I'm on my own.
me: Those are best because you can make them so fast, your brain doesn't have time to go "I'm full"
Jack: yes!
me: Ok, have you ever... experienced the dreaded "hunger window"?
Jack: define?
me: So you're doing something that's fun. You're in the middle and focused.
Suddenly... oh man. I'm hugry.
But you really don't want to stop
But you know that by the time you're done, there's a very good chance you won't be hungry at all.
And that your window for the day will be kinda closed
Jack: oh god that's the story of my life
YES.
me: Where the fuck do our bodies get this?
It's like "ok, time to eat!"
'It's ok. We're full"
"What? On what?!"
"We found something."
"NO! You can't eat that! We're going to DIE!"
I am so turning that into a RageComic.
me:OH! Pasta is FUN! *Le puts water on to boil* Ok, just ten minutes... WTF DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE FULL?!
Or getting full waiting for the food to come
Jack: That - yes, definitely.
Jack: But my day is all about food, you know. I either feel like crap cause I didn't eat, or I feel like crap cause I ate.
Like there's a brick in my stomach that I must lug around. I feel bloated, can't concentrate on anything, have trouble breathing, have trouble standing, actually.
When I don't eat my stomach hurts and I'm nauseous, and the more I let it persist, the worse and longer the after-food effects will be.
oh and, I also can't sleep. With both.
Same. My last-ditch strategy is keeping peanuts and fruit near me and just popping them like pills all day long, especially if I'm distracted.
Health Jank
me: The thing is, we get told all the time about the dangers, perils, and woes of being overweight. We're schooled in it.
While being thin is rewarded.
The insults are supposed to be compliments.
You're doing well if someone says "God, you're so skinny, you disgust me!"
WAT
Jack: exactly :))) and dear god "aww you're so tiny"
that's the faux-compliments
They always tell us about the health risks of being overweight. If the news were to report about the epidemic of underweight people, they’d report on these:
Underweight individuals may have poor physical stamina and a weak immune system, leaving them open to infection. Decreases in immune and non-immune host defenses should be classified as underlying causes of death if followed by infectious diseases that are the terminal associated causes.
Seems like the consensus is “you can be overweight, healthy, average, or skinny, but only “overweight” is a concern”. I say that because I’ve seen many articles on weight that start with signs that you are overweight. I haven’t yet seen the articles that tell me “you’re underweight if...”. I could’ve used that. For my own reference. I’m not saying that my weight is anyone’s fault. It isn’t. I’m saying they’ll let you know if you’re too fat (in fact, they use shame and fear), but aside from the Very Special Episodes featuring eating disorders, we aren’t really taught to look out for getting underweight.
Or if they did... HA! “You may be underweight if your friends start calling you a skinny bitch more than usual, if you get more than six compliments in a day, or if you get offered a modeling job. You may start to consider that you are too thin if you die.”
No, we are only "too skinny" if we faint or can’t stand up right.
A person can be bigger and healthy but still suffer from some consequences of that extra weight. Same with a person who is smaller and healthy. Here are some health concerns associated with not having enough weight;
Osteoporosis (a disease of bones that leads to an increased risk of fracture)
Arthritis ( a form of joint disorder that involves inflammation of one or more joints. that does not look fun I’m actually starting to get arthritis now- the joint of the ring finger of my left hand has been bugging me for a while. :( At my age)
Bursitis: (inflammation of one or more bursae (small sacs) of synovial fluid in the body. The bursae rest at the points where internal functionaries, such as muscles and tendons, slide across bone.
Anemia (decrease in number ofred blood cells (RBCs) or less than the normal quantity of hemoglobin in the blood.)
Arrythmia (abnormal electrical activity in the heart. Danger! Danger! High Voltage!)
T'is a Thin/Fat Person's World
me:Yesterday at the store, I needed yougurt because that's what my doctor says I have to eat. High fat yougurt.
But everywhere you go, stuff is "fat free" and "99% fat free"
But just try going into public
And saying
"Oh my GOD, this sucks. All my favorite foods are fat free or zero calories. What am I supposed to do? If I eat them, I might lose weight"
Jack: Yep, food shopping, I pick up the "fatty" sour cream (I don't think it exists anymore, but it was on the market still a couple of years ago) and the person at the cash register says "but that's the fatty one, we also got the regular sour cream!". And here too I have to stare at them meaningfully and say "I know."
If someone could direct me to an article about the day in the life of an overweight person trying to navigate a thin person's world, that'd be very useful. I don't recognize the things I don't need to deal with, and some insight would be nice. I'm always up for some learning.
As far as food goes in America, I think that fat people and skinny people need to meet up and trade notes or something. We seem to be going to the wrong places. Everywhere I go, clothes are too big, portions are too big, and foods are fat-free, low cal, reduced fat. I understand why things are like that the same way I understand (now) why band-aids are colored the way they are. It's about the number of people who are trying to keep their weight down. That's just fine, but it is difficult for an underweight person to try and navigate the foodscape. Since nothing really brags "this'll probably stick to your ribs!" it's just a matter of staying away from the reduced fat stuff or eating twice as much of it, which is irritating. "Hey, you know that stuff you don't like? Well we took out a lot of the calories so when you're done, you can go find some more stuff just to make up for it! U MAD, BRO?"
Clothing
If there’s one thing I learned from the lesbians of Northland college, it’s where my clothing section is: the juvenile boy’s department. I mean because that’s the only shytt that fits me. My friend Andre once remarked “how come little people always wear the biggest clothing ever? You could swim in that.” Well, aside from the fact that we were in Ashland and it was fuh-hu-reezing, it’s often the only thing available that doesn’t cost a lot of money (they don’t make American men’s clothes in my size and I’ll kill someone before I wear girl clothes again unless it’s for acting) or that doesn’t have Spongebob or Hannah Montanna on it. Sure, it’s fun to wear Batman pajamas and Spiderman briefs, but when you go out in public, not s’much. I haven’t bought clothing since 2005. The day I need to find a suit is going to be the opposite of fun.
I've also noticed that my pants have to be taken in a lot. Right now, I'm wearing a black pair meant to tie in front. I think I got them when I was 15 or so. Might be the testosterone, but the damned things are falling off.
I tied them up.
They were very uncomfortable around my hip bones. Too tight maybe?
Loosen. Loosen. Still hurts... loosen. Perfect.
... Bitch they're right back to where they started? FFFFFFUUUUUU----!!!!!!!! Which leads me to...
Vulnerability Jank
me: There's no way to convey to big people why that's a problem. "How would you like to go around realizing that most of your friends could literally kill you with barely more effort than it takes to uproot a dandelion?"
And not even with a weapon. Just with their hands.
Jack: YES
not to mention your enemies.
you're like, defenseless.
me: And not even on purpose because they'll just be playing, but you aren't as big as everyone they're used to!
Yes exactly!
Jack: of course being "vulnerable" counts as sexy nowadays. especially if you wish to be a tiny yaoiboy.
it's only sexy if it's not 24/7
me: You know what it is? It's "kitten mentality". You know, you see people going "OMG nobody would hurt a kitten!" So they don't think about the dangers.
"who would hurt you?" Yeah, so long as I don't mouth off.
Jack: and about the percentage of kittens who survive to adulthood. on the streets, not inside.
in natural environment.
me: Exactly. There isn't always going to be a person there that'll help you.
I did often look at my friends and think about how easily many of them could kill me. Fortunately, at Northland, most of us were “fun sized”, male and female, with only three or four pieces of tallgrass among all the lowbrush.
Still Not Seeing a Downside...got anything else?
Sure. How 'bout I’ve noticed are that I can no longer sit in wooden chairs comfortably because I am sitting on bone and when I sleep on my side, I’ve got to put a folded shirt between my knees because having the bones touch like that is very uncomfortable?
I get cold very, very easily.
Seeing me in shorts made my mother, a lady who is very science and robotics minded, start to cry. "I can't stand seeing you like this." is what she said. "It's not healthy." I've only seen my mother cry one other time, and that was when I was in the hospital in 10th grade for suicide jank.
And finally, It's pretty frightening when you come across a tumblr titled “The Daily Problems of People with Eating Disorders” and identify with some of the submitted entries (all based on your weight alone) when you do not have an eating disorder.
Oh, shut it, you braggart
You can’t really complain about being skinny. Not without inciting the wrath of “don’t you dare complain; you have nothing to complain about”. But we do. And we feel bad about complaining about it, too, because it’s supposed to be a blessing. You did notice all of the guilt in the article, right? All of the apologizing and “I know that...”?
Someone got it in mind to post a Thin Priveledge Checklist. It was met, as most privelege posts are, with unhappy rebloggers. This article, "Rethinking a Thin Privilege Checklist" was written (by a feminist who describes herself as living " in a death fat body") in response. Quote "While I definitely am bothered the "but skinny people have it bad too!!!" argument that comes up pretty much any time you try to have a discussion about being fat in any forum on the internet, I felt that if we were making a list about thin privilege we should probably make sure the problems being discussed aren't problems that thin people also have."
Here are a few thoughts I had when I read the "Thin Priveledge Checklist".
I can be sure that people aren’t embarrassed to be seen with me because of the size of my body.
Not one bit true. I've known a lot of people that have felt "gross" and "big" around me. I don't know what to do about it. I mean, sure, if someone does say somethig to them, you know I'll step up because I cannot resist a good IRL flame war. But I can't beat up the people in their heads, and those are where the worst comments live.
I do not have to be afraid that when I talk to my friends or family they will mention the size of my body in a critical manner, or suggest unsolicited diet products and exercise programs.
Seems to me that your friends and family are the ones that know about your genetics best and would know the reason you're big. Family members... well. If you read the link outside of the cut, you'll see that bit with my mother (and how she started crying because she "couldn't stand to see you like this").
I will not be accused of being emotionally troubled or in psychological denial because of the size of my body.
#Things not to say to naturally skinny salad fans who are accused of having anorexia nervosa
I never have to speak for size acceptance as a movement. My thoughts about my body can be my own with no need for political alliance relative to size.
I understand that this is a "priveledge" in that they use the word "have to". That being said, if you're thin and you don't stand up for body acceptance, you "are" part of the problem. And hey- body acceptance means us, too, right? Most of us have bodies, or at least purple caped, black eyed body shaped figures to carry our blue brains around in. (I wish you'd Observer that joke. By the way- Pearl Forrester? HOT BITCH IN CHARGE and she isn't a twig.)
I can be sure that when I go to a class, or movie, or restaurant that I will find a place to sit in which I am relatively comfortable.
Hard chair is hard on your bones.
I am not identified by the size of my body.
Are you kidding me?
I can go for months without thinking about or being spoken to about the size of my body.
Nope.
I am not grouped because of the size of my body.
"Skinny bitches", "shallow skinny airheads", "all dieting and whining about how fa-a-at they are". Oppressors. "The problem" because the act of looking a certain way is a direct judgement. How much more do we have to do to say "they do not speak for me"?
I don’t have to worry that won’t be hired for a job that I can do because of the size of my body.
Again- not one bit an exclusively thin priveledge. Let's see... New Orleans, 2010. I went for a temp job and though I was qualified, the manager told me that there would be a lot of "big, kinda dumb muscle guys, you know? The kind that don't have your degree?" He was afraid I'd get picked on because of my size, and no, it wasn't just about height. I know that as far as reasons go, it's one of the more "endearing reasons to not be hired".
We're One in the Same
The more I think about it, the more I think that fat people and skinny people have problems that are super similar.
Feeling as though you aren't allowed to eat a burger without the world thinking "you're just making the problem worse" vs. Feeling as though you can't eat a salad without the world thinking "Are you doing that because you think you're fat?" Maybe some skinny people just like salad! Having people assume things about your diet and exercise routines. Feeling like you're fitting into a stereotype every time you do something related to food. People thinking that it's your fault that you look the way you do. And so many falsehoods that should be answered with "Oh, so when a skinny/fat person does it, it's ok, but when a fat/skinny person does it, it's because..."
I believe I’m bodytype positive. I don't stay quiet when people use anti-fat language, especially not in public where they can see that I'm not doing it because the issue affects me personally. I want to give support to the friends that are bigger than I am, I just don’t know what else I can do. This must be what white heterosexual male feminists feel like- as though they have to apologize for just being a certain way.
A note on the terms “fatty” and “skinny bitch" (when used with derrsive intent): Might I remind you that all of the size wars among females are female hate? Hate yourself, hate your body and you are hating on a female.
Ok, that doesn’t help... Try this- would you sneer at a (kind, polite, fun) girl with your body? Call her gross or unattractive? Or would you tell her that it really doesn’t matter so long as she’s healthy and would you like to be friends with her?
Some Links Jank
I found this rant in 2004 when I did a search for “Skinny Bitches”. It made me want to write this.
Here's a link to a funny little piece about "skinny girl problems". I learned a new word- "talumbout" - and it is hilarious.
While I don’t know what most of you look like, I can think of only three perople on my Flist who might relate to what I’m saying (because I’ve spoken to them directly about it). I swear that the entry’s only reason for existing is to say this- “Here are some downsides I’ve noticed regarding my weight”.
I mean, I'd like it if someone on my flist read this and for the first time got to open up and have a happy!bitching session about being skinny, and I'd like it if someone read this and it reaffirmed a "healthy is the real ideal" (or "thin isn't a rose garden") mentality, but I'm keeping the goals real here. And even though this is my journal, if I said something you thought was wrong, tell me. I tried not to use the word "fat" because... Iunno, it kinda feels like a "that's our word" kinda thing.
The last thing I want this entry to look like is this. Hell yes I’m asexual. Hell no, I don’t think I’m “oppressed”. I know I’ve got it pretty good as far as sexualities and genetics. I know that the unkind remarks made about my weight are really lacking. I know that there are plenty of people that wish they had my “problem” of having long bouts of disliking food.
Harpsiccord journal entry explaining the dangerous/emotional side of my weighty issue. Click it if you get too mad at this entry.
Recent Googletalk conversation between Harp and Jack
me: Are you underweight?
Jack: I am. How did you know XD
me: Are most people in your area very thin?
Jack: nope
me: It's one of those issues.
You know.
WE know the problems we have. "I don't really like food" or "all the food I like doesn't put weight on me"
And all everyone else hears is "WAAAH, Every time I count my hundred dollar bills, my fingers get all tired!!"
"My favorite limo clashes with my Tuesday butler's shoes! BOO HOO" is what you may as well be writing.
Jack: LOL yeahhh
The chore of eating
Is it just me or does it seem like everyone who is underweight accused of doing it purposely? It is. Since overweight people are accused of having no self-discipline, it stands to reason that underweight would be considered super!disciplined. Meaning "if you wanna lose weight, work. If you want to gain, just relax and it’ll come easy".
I realize what a bizarre concept it is. “If you’re hungry, you’ll eat and you won’t die.” It should be easy. Here's why it isn't.
Imagine sitting down to dinner and having a huge plate of pasta, your favorite drink, a chicken salad, and for dessert there’s cake. Now imagine sitting there at the end, all happy and you get up to leave, and your mom says “what are you doing?”
“I’m done, mumsy.”
“No, you’re not, have some more.”
So ya sit down and have a little bit more, one third of what you had, just to make her happy. And you’re really full now- forget LJ, you need to sleep. But your mom is looking at you very disappointed.
“That’s not enough to sustain you. You’re going to get sick, you know, if you don’t eat more.”
That’s what it’s like. You get full really fast and eating becomes like a chore. That's something I'd like people to know about the food-aversed thin. It doesn't mean we're free to eat whatever we want at all. Stomach space is prime real estate and I've definitely gone a day when all I've had was a Mrs. Field's cookie and felt full all day. We have to pick what we eat because once it goes in, we won't have the capacity to fit anymore, no matter how delicious we find the food.
Oh, and this might be just me, but here's something gross: you know you're in trouble when you have a cigarette and halfway through, you look at it and go "uugh, can't finish this; too full". I wish I was joking about that.
Stomachs that LOLTroll
me: Have you ever gotten full just cooking something?
Jack: hahah yes
I really don't like cooking though. I do sandwiches when I'm on my own.
me: Those are best because you can make them so fast, your brain doesn't have time to go "I'm full"
Jack: yes!
me: Ok, have you ever... experienced the dreaded "hunger window"?
Jack: define?
me: So you're doing something that's fun. You're in the middle and focused.
Suddenly... oh man. I'm hugry.
But you really don't want to stop
But you know that by the time you're done, there's a very good chance you won't be hungry at all.
And that your window for the day will be kinda closed
Jack: oh god that's the story of my life
YES.
me: Where the fuck do our bodies get this?
It's like "ok, time to eat!"
'It's ok. We're full"
"What? On what?!"
"We found something."
"NO! You can't eat that! We're going to DIE!"
I am so turning that into a RageComic.
me:OH! Pasta is FUN! *Le puts water on to boil* Ok, just ten minutes... WTF DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE FULL?!
Or getting full waiting for the food to come
Jack: That - yes, definitely.
Jack: But my day is all about food, you know. I either feel like crap cause I didn't eat, or I feel like crap cause I ate.
Like there's a brick in my stomach that I must lug around. I feel bloated, can't concentrate on anything, have trouble breathing, have trouble standing, actually.
When I don't eat my stomach hurts and I'm nauseous, and the more I let it persist, the worse and longer the after-food effects will be.
oh and, I also can't sleep. With both.
Same. My last-ditch strategy is keeping peanuts and fruit near me and just popping them like pills all day long, especially if I'm distracted.
Health Jank
me: The thing is, we get told all the time about the dangers, perils, and woes of being overweight. We're schooled in it.
While being thin is rewarded.
The insults are supposed to be compliments.
You're doing well if someone says "God, you're so skinny, you disgust me!"
WAT
Jack: exactly :))) and dear god "aww you're so tiny"
that's the faux-compliments
They always tell us about the health risks of being overweight. If the news were to report about the epidemic of underweight people, they’d report on these:
Underweight individuals may have poor physical stamina and a weak immune system, leaving them open to infection. Decreases in immune and non-immune host defenses should be classified as underlying causes of death if followed by infectious diseases that are the terminal associated causes.
Seems like the consensus is “you can be overweight, healthy, average, or skinny, but only “overweight” is a concern”. I say that because I’ve seen many articles on weight that start with signs that you are overweight. I haven’t yet seen the articles that tell me “you’re underweight if...”. I could’ve used that. For my own reference. I’m not saying that my weight is anyone’s fault. It isn’t. I’m saying they’ll let you know if you’re too fat (in fact, they use shame and fear), but aside from the Very Special Episodes featuring eating disorders, we aren’t really taught to look out for getting underweight.
Or if they did... HA! “You may be underweight if your friends start calling you a skinny bitch more than usual, if you get more than six compliments in a day, or if you get offered a modeling job. You may start to consider that you are too thin if you die.”
No, we are only "too skinny" if we faint or can’t stand up right.
A person can be bigger and healthy but still suffer from some consequences of that extra weight. Same with a person who is smaller and healthy. Here are some health concerns associated with not having enough weight;
Osteoporosis (a disease of bones that leads to an increased risk of fracture)
Arthritis ( a form of joint disorder that involves inflammation of one or more joints. that does not look fun I’m actually starting to get arthritis now- the joint of the ring finger of my left hand has been bugging me for a while. :( At my age)
Bursitis: (inflammation of one or more bursae (small sacs) of synovial fluid in the body. The bursae rest at the points where internal functionaries, such as muscles and tendons, slide across bone.
Anemia (decrease in number ofred blood cells (RBCs) or less than the normal quantity of hemoglobin in the blood.)
Arrythmia (abnormal electrical activity in the heart. Danger! Danger! High Voltage!)
T'is a Thin/Fat Person's World
me:Yesterday at the store, I needed yougurt because that's what my doctor says I have to eat. High fat yougurt.
But everywhere you go, stuff is "fat free" and "99% fat free"
But just try going into public
And saying
"Oh my GOD, this sucks. All my favorite foods are fat free or zero calories. What am I supposed to do? If I eat them, I might lose weight"
Jack: Yep, food shopping, I pick up the "fatty" sour cream (I don't think it exists anymore, but it was on the market still a couple of years ago) and the person at the cash register says "but that's the fatty one, we also got the regular sour cream!". And here too I have to stare at them meaningfully and say "I know."
If someone could direct me to an article about the day in the life of an overweight person trying to navigate a thin person's world, that'd be very useful. I don't recognize the things I don't need to deal with, and some insight would be nice. I'm always up for some learning.
As far as food goes in America, I think that fat people and skinny people need to meet up and trade notes or something. We seem to be going to the wrong places. Everywhere I go, clothes are too big, portions are too big, and foods are fat-free, low cal, reduced fat. I understand why things are like that the same way I understand (now) why band-aids are colored the way they are. It's about the number of people who are trying to keep their weight down. That's just fine, but it is difficult for an underweight person to try and navigate the foodscape. Since nothing really brags "this'll probably stick to your ribs!" it's just a matter of staying away from the reduced fat stuff or eating twice as much of it, which is irritating. "Hey, you know that stuff you don't like? Well we took out a lot of the calories so when you're done, you can go find some more stuff just to make up for it! U MAD, BRO?"
Clothing
If there’s one thing I learned from the lesbians of Northland college, it’s where my clothing section is: the juvenile boy’s department. I mean because that’s the only shytt that fits me. My friend Andre once remarked “how come little people always wear the biggest clothing ever? You could swim in that.” Well, aside from the fact that we were in Ashland and it was fuh-hu-reezing, it’s often the only thing available that doesn’t cost a lot of money (they don’t make American men’s clothes in my size and I’ll kill someone before I wear girl clothes again unless it’s for acting) or that doesn’t have Spongebob or Hannah Montanna on it. Sure, it’s fun to wear Batman pajamas and Spiderman briefs, but when you go out in public, not s’much. I haven’t bought clothing since 2005. The day I need to find a suit is going to be the opposite of fun.
I've also noticed that my pants have to be taken in a lot. Right now, I'm wearing a black pair meant to tie in front. I think I got them when I was 15 or so. Might be the testosterone, but the damned things are falling off.
I tied them up.
They were very uncomfortable around my hip bones. Too tight maybe?
Loosen. Loosen. Still hurts... loosen. Perfect.
... Bitch they're right back to where they started? FFFFFFUUUUUU----!!!!!!!! Which leads me to...
Vulnerability Jank
me: There's no way to convey to big people why that's a problem. "How would you like to go around realizing that most of your friends could literally kill you with barely more effort than it takes to uproot a dandelion?"
And not even with a weapon. Just with their hands.
Jack: YES
not to mention your enemies.
you're like, defenseless.
me: And not even on purpose because they'll just be playing, but you aren't as big as everyone they're used to!
Yes exactly!
Jack: of course being "vulnerable" counts as sexy nowadays. especially if you wish to be a tiny yaoiboy.
it's only sexy if it's not 24/7
me: You know what it is? It's "kitten mentality". You know, you see people going "OMG nobody would hurt a kitten!" So they don't think about the dangers.
"who would hurt you?" Yeah, so long as I don't mouth off.
Jack: and about the percentage of kittens who survive to adulthood. on the streets, not inside.
in natural environment.
me: Exactly. There isn't always going to be a person there that'll help you.
I did often look at my friends and think about how easily many of them could kill me. Fortunately, at Northland, most of us were “fun sized”, male and female, with only three or four pieces of tallgrass among all the lowbrush.
Still Not Seeing a Downside...got anything else?
Sure. How 'bout I’ve noticed are that I can no longer sit in wooden chairs comfortably because I am sitting on bone and when I sleep on my side, I’ve got to put a folded shirt between my knees because having the bones touch like that is very uncomfortable?
I get cold very, very easily.
Seeing me in shorts made my mother, a lady who is very science and robotics minded, start to cry. "I can't stand seeing you like this." is what she said. "It's not healthy." I've only seen my mother cry one other time, and that was when I was in the hospital in 10th grade for suicide jank.
And finally, It's pretty frightening when you come across a tumblr titled “The Daily Problems of People with Eating Disorders” and identify with some of the submitted entries (all based on your weight alone) when you do not have an eating disorder.
Oh, shut it, you braggart
You can’t really complain about being skinny. Not without inciting the wrath of “don’t you dare complain; you have nothing to complain about”. But we do. And we feel bad about complaining about it, too, because it’s supposed to be a blessing. You did notice all of the guilt in the article, right? All of the apologizing and “I know that...”?
Someone got it in mind to post a Thin Priveledge Checklist. It was met, as most privelege posts are, with unhappy rebloggers. This article, "Rethinking a Thin Privilege Checklist" was written (by a feminist who describes herself as living " in a death fat body") in response. Quote "While I definitely am bothered the "but skinny people have it bad too!!!" argument that comes up pretty much any time you try to have a discussion about being fat in any forum on the internet, I felt that if we were making a list about thin privilege we should probably make sure the problems being discussed aren't problems that thin people also have."
Here are a few thoughts I had when I read the "Thin Priveledge Checklist".
I can be sure that people aren’t embarrassed to be seen with me because of the size of my body.
Not one bit true. I've known a lot of people that have felt "gross" and "big" around me. I don't know what to do about it. I mean, sure, if someone does say somethig to them, you know I'll step up because I cannot resist a good IRL flame war. But I can't beat up the people in their heads, and those are where the worst comments live.
I do not have to be afraid that when I talk to my friends or family they will mention the size of my body in a critical manner, or suggest unsolicited diet products and exercise programs.
Seems to me that your friends and family are the ones that know about your genetics best and would know the reason you're big. Family members... well. If you read the link outside of the cut, you'll see that bit with my mother (and how she started crying because she "couldn't stand to see you like this").
I will not be accused of being emotionally troubled or in psychological denial because of the size of my body.
#Things not to say to naturally skinny salad fans who are accused of having anorexia nervosa
I never have to speak for size acceptance as a movement. My thoughts about my body can be my own with no need for political alliance relative to size.
I understand that this is a "priveledge" in that they use the word "have to". That being said, if you're thin and you don't stand up for body acceptance, you "are" part of the problem. And hey- body acceptance means us, too, right? Most of us have bodies, or at least purple caped, black eyed body shaped figures to carry our blue brains around in. (I wish you'd Observer that joke. By the way- Pearl Forrester? HOT BITCH IN CHARGE and she isn't a twig.)
I can be sure that when I go to a class, or movie, or restaurant that I will find a place to sit in which I am relatively comfortable.
Hard chair is hard on your bones.
I am not identified by the size of my body.
Are you kidding me?
I can go for months without thinking about or being spoken to about the size of my body.
Nope.
I am not grouped because of the size of my body.
"Skinny bitches", "shallow skinny airheads", "all dieting and whining about how fa-a-at they are". Oppressors. "The problem" because the act of looking a certain way is a direct judgement. How much more do we have to do to say "they do not speak for me"?
I don’t have to worry that won’t be hired for a job that I can do because of the size of my body.
Again- not one bit an exclusively thin priveledge. Let's see... New Orleans, 2010. I went for a temp job and though I was qualified, the manager told me that there would be a lot of "big, kinda dumb muscle guys, you know? The kind that don't have your degree?" He was afraid I'd get picked on because of my size, and no, it wasn't just about height. I know that as far as reasons go, it's one of the more "endearing reasons to not be hired".
We're One in the Same
The more I think about it, the more I think that fat people and skinny people have problems that are super similar.
Feeling as though you aren't allowed to eat a burger without the world thinking "you're just making the problem worse" vs. Feeling as though you can't eat a salad without the world thinking "Are you doing that because you think you're fat?" Maybe some skinny people just like salad! Having people assume things about your diet and exercise routines. Feeling like you're fitting into a stereotype every time you do something related to food. People thinking that it's your fault that you look the way you do. And so many falsehoods that should be answered with "Oh, so when a skinny/fat person does it, it's ok, but when a fat/skinny person does it, it's because..."
I believe I’m bodytype positive. I don't stay quiet when people use anti-fat language, especially not in public where they can see that I'm not doing it because the issue affects me personally. I want to give support to the friends that are bigger than I am, I just don’t know what else I can do. This must be what white heterosexual male feminists feel like- as though they have to apologize for just being a certain way.
A note on the terms “fatty” and “skinny bitch" (when used with derrsive intent): Might I remind you that all of the size wars among females are female hate? Hate yourself, hate your body and you are hating on a female.
Ok, that doesn’t help... Try this- would you sneer at a (kind, polite, fun) girl with your body? Call her gross or unattractive? Or would you tell her that it really doesn’t matter so long as she’s healthy and would you like to be friends with her?
Some Links Jank
I found this rant in 2004 when I did a search for “Skinny Bitches”. It made me want to write this.
Here's a link to a funny little piece about "skinny girl problems". I learned a new word- "talumbout" - and it is hilarious.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Re: PART TWO. I am insane.
Date: Sunday, August 7th, 2011 07:09 pm (UTC)From:However, on the whole, fat people are derided and treated badly far more often than thin people; fat people suffer systemic and societal bigotry, where thin people do not. As I mentioned in my comments above, calling someone "fat" has severe baggage in our society; calling someone "thin" is considered a compliment. Societally speaking, fat people are treated horribly, hurt more often and more deeply than thin people (when taking into account only hurt that occurs as a direct result of their treatment due only to body size).
Basically: Being thin = societally valued trait. Being fat = societally reviled trait; persons who possess it are liable to be treated to all sorts of discrimination and hate. You do the math.
I will never deny that thin people suffer, sometimes quite a bit, because of how people treat them due to their size. HOWEVER, it is nothing-- nothiiing-- to what (most) fat people (especially fat women!) go through. Period. It is ignorant, to say the least, to argue otherwise.
I mean, you know, you try having your shape used as a fucking insult in every publication, every film and television show and every casual conversation in the history of ever and see how you feel. And that's not even counting all the other bullshit, that's just the use of "fat" as an insult. "Thin" is never an insult. So uh, yeah.
Re: PART TWO. I am insane.
Date: Sunday, August 7th, 2011 07:15 pm (UTC)From:Basically, you're doing the same thing you condemned other people doing: some thin people are very, very vocal in making it All About Their Pain. You're kindly allowing Harp to express his pain and agree that he has SOME pain there - because he's being so darn apologetic about it. Yet you still make it all about you and your pain which is obviously so much worse.
Just pointing out. Never said your pain isn't horrible and > everyone else's. After all, I have no means to measure it.
Re: PART TWO. I am insane.
Date: Sunday, August 7th, 2011 07:26 pm (UTC)From:Thin people have privilege. It is called thin privilege, it exists. Ergo, yeah, bigotry and hate against fat people is kinda more important on a societal level. JFC.
And I'm not even going to get into this bullshit further, but thanks for the dismissiveness.
Re: PART TWO. I am insane.
Date: Sunday, August 7th, 2011 07:31 pm (UTC)From:And you're welcome for the dismissiveness, I felt someone should balance yours out.