John William Warde

[harp]

John William Warde - DeathAndReality.com

I've been going here lots lately. It's really graphic stuff, so aside from that article, don't go searching the page unless you want a lot of colored photographs of re-e-eally graphic deaths.

Thanks, Idolhands, for the nudge. I've been meaning to get back here at least to get back to ONTDCreepy, my favorite community. I just haven't wanted to write anything in my journal. Massive, massive depression going on. They have me going to therapy five days a week now; no joke. Some upstate program called PROS. It was this or get locked up in the hospital again. Yeah, that happened, too, from December 20th to the 26th back in 2013. There's no internet in the hospital. How are you supposed to live like that? Not even a radio to distract you while you try to sleep, so the bad thoughts just keep coming and oh, it's just a mess. But I did meet three really nice people. I've gotta e-mail one of them again. She's such a great lady. I really hope she's ok.

Comments

[harpsi-fizz.livejournal.com]

It's because we can't have anything in our rooms that we could use to hurt ourselves or anyone else, I'm sure. The rooms are depressingly suicide-proof. No strings, no sharp edges, nothing heavy that's liftable, nothing to suspend from, nothing to ingest, no windows capable of being open, nothing. Even the sink was this modern molded basin thing too shallow to drown in and with no way to fill the basin.

Is there? I have super aggressive Adblock, so I never saw that. Jeez... I'm sorry you had to see that.

[theidolhands.livejournal.com]

Ah. I had forgotten to think of that...but dials on a wall...something.

Even the sink was this modern molded basin thing too shallow to drown in and with no way to fill the basin. Man. I suppose that's good though because we do want people to get better, but it's another one of those things I never thought of.

Have you been forced to drop out of school then? I see your interest in the science and facts of death still prevail, although I didn't realize it was also a personal medical concern. I respected your interest in your field of study.

[harpsi-fizz.livejournal.com]

No, I graduated and took and passed the boards that June. I'm ready for the internship. Mental health stuff was going poorly in school, actually. First semester I got into some annoying trouble because some classmates and I were discussing some exam and I mentioned that I'd kill myself if I failed out. One of them was like "Don't joke like that" and I informed her that I was not, that death was the only other option if I failed this because I'd have nothing.

So of course she went and told on me and they sent me to a therapist, but I told them what they needed to hear because (and they didn't understand this) I did not have time for a mental breakdown. I knew I had some stuff, but it'd take forever and in the end, I'd have nothing to look forward to but returning to school and it'd be a whole thing. At least now I can get help finding work.