Stuff I Found Out While Not Doing the Last 20 Questions of Embalming Homework

[harp]

George de Mestral invented velcro and it was patented in 1955.

That must mean I know at least one person older than velcro. Woah, does that mean that John Mccain is older than Velcro? Must look that up.

*While looking it up* "Make Sarah Palin take the INS test"? Do they have the questions online? Kinda makes America look like a club. Answer these questions to pass! Other countries do that? Wonder how many people in the US could pass.

Ha-ha-ha-Waaaaowwwww are they really asking that? You could really come up with some really snarky/smartmouth answers for these. Babby Pissed-off-about-Bush Harp would have loved to answer some of these. So would Northland-True-Blue-Kerry-Stanning-Air-America-Radio-directly-Injected-Into-Veins Harp. But even today's Grown=up-and-No-Longer-a-Screaming-Activist-Just-Gonna-Keep-Trolling-and-LOLing Harp sees some lulz opportunities in there.

Troll Self Test If you can read through these questions without thinking of one single smartass/snarky/cheeky answer, you are a golden soul with no trolling in your heart. If you do think of something less than srs, you have to write it in the comments C:


9. What is the 4th of July?

10. What is the date of Independence Day?

11. Independence from whom? Our mom lulz no just kidding -(Troll)

16. Who elects the President of the United States?

17. Who becomes President of the United States if the President should die?

18. For how long do we elect the President?

20. Can the Constitution be changed? yes but only to discriminate against gays, Laaawl j/k j/k no but for real doe

21. What do we call a change to the Constitution?

26. Who makes the laws in the United States? Microsoft

27. What is the Congress?

28. What are the duties of Congress?

29. Who elects the Congress?

44. Can you name thirteen original states?

45. Who said, "Give me liberty or give me death."?

47. What are the 49th and 50th states of the Union?

49. Who was Martin Luther King, Jr.?

50. Who is the head of your local government? my wife ha-ha no i tease with love obvs

78. What kind of government does the United States have?

Comments

[barsukthom]

9: The day between the Third of July and the Fifth of Beethoven.
11: The ALIENS!
OH GHOD I CANT STOP GHOD HELP ME NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
49: Martin Luther the King's son.
78:We have a government?

[guardians_song]

Thanks for posting this! This was fun!

17: The nearest military general... whoops, wrong country.
21: You seriously ask this one question after 20? Why do you even have 20 on the test?
26: Lobby groups.
28: Trying not to make fools of themselves. Operative word being "trying".
29: Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and a few thousand dead people.
44: Mary-Suelandia, Sparklypooian, Bitchiwitchville, [insert ten more here]
45: William Wirt. And if you believe that he totally reconstructed that speech without any alterations, then I'm sure Kevin Anderson and Brian Herbert are totally not making up shit as they go along with the new Dune books.
47: Insanity and Calamity.
50: The object attached to the neck of my local government.
78: Idiocracy.

[harp]

Of course. I thought you'd like this, and (not joking) was kinda toying with the idea of putting it on LJ and making a new tag like "Guardian Bait" or something, since our LJ entries often start long exchanges between us.

And after looking for a long time (and getting hella distracted) I found this thing you might also love- Mike Smith's Snarky Answers to the Leaky Cauldron Harry Potter Test.

Question 4. Who delivers Harry's acceptance to Hogwarts letter?
You wrote: Mr. McFeely

Question 26. What did Fred suggest the D.A. name themselves?
You wrote: Something stupid, because it's Fred.

Question 38. What is the first spell Moody used on the spider in the Defense Against the Dark Arts class?
You wrote: Waddedup Tissuepaperus
(That one's my favorite)

Mike's great- he read and reviewed all the books, despised the majority, and really makes some good points. He was great for the kind of Harry Potter fan the fandom turned me into (someone who liked the books but enjoyed people tearing into them because of how a lot of other fans behaved).

[guardians_song]

And after looking for a long time (and getting hella distracted) I found this thing you might also love- Mike Smith's Snarky Answers to the Leaky Cauldron Harry Potter Test.
Heh... interesting indeed. I'll check that out...

I remember Mike Smith's snarks from a while back - I probably should check them out again.
(Myself, I always liked the books [except for OOTP], but eh... I got into fandom via snark communities, and I'm always fond of snark. The target didn't particularly matter. If the book looks like a Mary-Sue romance and quacks like a Mary-Sue romance, I don't particularly care if it's labeled 'Harry Potter and the Sexy New American Transfer Student' or 'Harry Potther and the Half-Blood Prince'. :P)

Thanks for the link!

[julian_griffith]

#18 made me want to say something about how the Presidential election cycle now begins roughly two weeks before the inauguration of the current President, much along the same lines as Christmas shopping season beginning directly after Labor Day and occasionally as early as July.

[seventhbard]

9. What is the 4th of July?

Billy, I keep telling you, you need to give your sentences more CONTEXT. This is very inexact, it would be easy for someone to misconstrue. At least you spelled it right. B-, try harder next time.

10. What is the date of Independence Day?

In which country? BILLY, CRIMINY. HOW MANY TIMES MUST WE HAVE THIS CONVERSATION?

11. Independence from whom? Our mom lulz no just kidding -(Troll)

Y'all are still RLY hung up about the Revolutionary War. Let it go, man. Just let it go.

16. Who elects the President of the United States?

The rich.

17. Who becomes President of the United States if the President should die?

Zombie Teddy Roosevelt. They keep him in a special chamber under the White House just for this purpose.

18. For how long do we elect the President?

One day, usually, but then we have to put up with the bastard for the next 4 years.

20. Can the Constitution be changed? yes but only to discriminate against gays, Laaawl j/k j/k no but for real doe

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT OUR FOREFATHERS MADE THE CONSTITUTION PERFECT SO IT COULD NEVER BE CHANGED WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA?


21. What do we call a change to the Constitution?

AN ABOMINATION AGAINST OUR LORD GOD WHO FOUNDED AMERICA ON THE BACK OF A CRYING EAGLE.

26. Who makes the laws in the United States? Microsoft

JESUS CHRIST OUR SAVIOR AND THE NRA

27. What is the Congress?

I don't know but I will tell you what it is NOT, it is NOT a place where uppity womanfolk can say "vagina" openly in the presence of men when talking about rape laws! GET THOSE BITCHES OUT OF THERE THEY SHOULD BE IN THE KITCHEN AMIRITE.

28. What are the duties of Congress?

To uphold the laws and glory of my cock GOD.

29. Who elects the Congress?

Jesus and Thomas Jefferson.

44. Can you name thirteen original states?

No, but there were these things called colonies once, let me tell you about them...

45. Who said, "Give me liberty or give me death."?

Oh fuck I say that all the time, my parole officer is really getting tired of it BUT HE HATES AMERICA AND FREEDOM THAT DAMNED HIPPIE COMMIE.

47. What are the 49th and 50th states of the Union?

It is not appropriate to be talking about unions, you're one of those gays who wants to ruin my marriage aren't you?!!!!

49. Who was Martin Luther King, Jr.?

The guy I quote when I want to justify my racism.

50. Who is the head of your local government? my wife ha-ha no i tease with love obvs

The dude I get my blow from. Duh.

78. What kind of government does the United States have?

I plead the fifth.

[harp]

Y'all are still RLY hung up about the Revolutionary War.
It's the one hit wonder. The only war that they started/got into that can be blamed on another country and kinda "justified". "Youse oppressing me!" (You can see the evolutionary effects in the modern SJW. Cells have memory, and their ancestral roots dearly miss being able to fight back against oppression. That's why SJW's are always hating on their heritage, why they try to cling to any bit of oppression they can find, and why they like pretending to be "white, but independent from the privilege mother country" (Where "white heritage" is England and the SJW is America)

(Oh man, I bet I just made so many people angry with that.)

(Also: despite what I said up there, I'm actually not scornful of transethnic people. Can you believe it? Not sure if I'm self trolling with that or what.)

What do we call a change to the Constitution? AN ABOMINATION AGAINST OUR LORD GOD WHO FOUNDED AMERICA ON THE BACK OF A CRYING EAGLE.
I'm actually really glad to see this reply because I'm guessing you don't know that Bushie tried to change (ammend) the constitution to ban Queerosexual marriage (President Bush on Tuesday announced his support for an amendment to the U.S. Constitution to ban same-sex marriage. The following is a transcript of the president's remarks.
(And while Googling that, I found out that someone's trying to do it again? Jeez, I can't wait for Regina George to tell them "Stop trying to make gay bans happen. It isn't going to happen."

(Side note: I just googled "I'm very homophobic" to see if anyone has actually ever said those words.)


I don't know but I will tell you what it is NOT, it is NOT a place where uppity womanfolk can say "vagina" openly in the presence of men when talking about rape laws! Waaaat? Really? ... Are they allowed to say the P-word?
The guy I quote when I want to justify my racism. They wwwwaaaaaa? Who... examples, please? I never saw this one before!

[seventhbard]

America is just obsessed with taxes. I may still love you, place I was born, but that doesn't mean I don't also hate your stupid guts sometimes too. Not that that doesn't fuck with my sense of identity endlessly mind you but since when have I ever had a strong, stable foundation of identity? I guess in the end, USAland is so tied for me with my family and past it just makes it hard to find solace in the soil of anywhere. Roots can anchor but they can choke, too.

When is Bush going to choke to death on his own ignorance and smallness? It's a nasty little thing to say but ugh, I'm so sick of him. I wonder if he ever did a kind thing in his life.

Yeah I don't remember if it was Congress but that was what I thought it was... there was a big hullabaloo because one of the senators or whoever got banned from speaking further because she used the word vagina in regards to some proposed law about rape or abortion or rapebortion or something. I blocked most of it out tbh mostly I just remember wanting to ragepuke.

And I find that a lot of people will use admiration for King as a shield to prove they're soooo not racist after whatever casually racist thing they just said. :P

Writing up my responses was just a little TOO fun today... I seem to be feeling a bit bitter. XD

[harp]

Bitter towards anything in particular (the country, a behavior, a bunch of people with groupthink)? 'Cause I've always got a supply of things that I save and want to ask certain friends for reviews/opinions about. Guardian up there, she snarked on the Sexual Privilege Checklist (it's up on my LJ, I think you saw it?) and you know about the monster party alarmist post I made and reviewed "The Duff" for me.

Tl;Dr Extra Re: that book- I for real still get really wistful daydreaming about if Bianca lived in your apartment complex and she always visits you and looks up to you and you gave her advice but also set her right in her nonsense. It'd be fun to read about her POV after you said "I know you want me to sit here and tell you that you were right and justify your actions, but I'm not going to." and she knows you're right and is just sulking and making faces like she wants to say something but can't. 'Cause she'd probably try argue first out loud, then try to justify it (whatever she just said/did) in her head a few times to come up with a good argument, but would get caught. But always ending with her hugging you and being glad she can talk to you.

[seventhbard]

I think I'm just a bit bitter in general right now, I'm feeling pretty brittle because I'm having kind of a brainsplosion-and-therapy-epiphanies time at the moment. Things in my head are just... shifting around in prep of the next big changes in my life. Mostly I just sort of still feel... unwanted, for lack of a better word (which feels insecure and unsafe). Trying simply to find a place to be and a way to feel about it isn't as straightforward as I used to think!

And thanks, that still makes me feel really good. *hugs* :)

[guardians_song]

"That's why SJW's are always hating on their heritage, why they try to cling to any bit of oppression they can find, and why they like pretending to be "white, but independent from the privilege mother country" (Where "white heritage" is England and the SJW is America)"
...That's fucking brilliant. I'm not even being sarcastic. That's outright brilliant.
(But HAHAHAHAHA DO THEY SERIOUSLY THINK ENGLAND IS NOT PROBLEMATIC? The former BRITISH EMPIRE? The people so white they hate on other white people who happen to have red hair? Sweet GAD!

[Seriously, I like England. But I don't get the Tumblr fetish for it.])

"(Also: despite what I said up there, I'm actually not scornful of transethnic people. Can you believe it? Not sure if I'm self trolling with that or what.)"
I'd... be LESS scornful if it didn't reek of covert racism. 'lolol i'm so black BECAUSE ALL BLACKS ARE GANGSTA AMIRITE'/'ALL JAPANESE PEOPLE ARE KAWAII LIKE ME~'/etc.

[barsukthom]

Well, John Mccain IS older than Moses*, so...


*Moses Tudwiddle, lead accordion for Electric Brains, born Feb 29th, 1959.