Problem, Young Reapers? *Trollface* or "Asexuals in Aromantic... uh... Other"

[harp]

The first three tests (Microbiology, Anatomy, Funeral Directing) went incredibly well. The one we had on embalming on Friday... not so well. Fortunately, I'm not the only one.

Our very first test was on the history of embalming, and wow, is there a lot of history. Who invented the Trochar? Who got caught photographed embalming in the Civil War and made it so that we have to get licenses? Who invented embalming fluid? Who was the first black embalmer?

Professor M must've known we were worried, because he trolled us gewd with the first test. I kid you not, these are some of the items in the "match the name to the things" part of the exam:

"Discovered Capillaries"
"Invented the Trochar"
"Father of embalming"
"Father of modern embalming"
"Embalmed Lincoln"
"Did none of these things"

And then this one: "Derp's Catacomb is named after him" with Joe Derp and William Derp right next to each other as options in the names column.

The first black embalmer was a man named Prince Greere. The other class had that as a multiple choice question. With the other answers multiple spellings of Greere, including "Green". I could practically see the trollface/rage comic spawning from that. I'll probably make it one.


I finally got around to inviting this girl that sits on the other side of the room and wears a black and white striped scarf all the time into our studying group, and it wasn't scary at all. She's incredibly cute and (get this) about my height, maybe even a titch shorter. Aquarius, too. It's always Aquarius.

These situations don't come up much, but they're annoying if I think about it too much. It's like... she's cute, but who cares? I can't really do anything about it because (and this is hard to explain), there's nothing to be done about it. Sure I know what other people would do.

"Tell her you think she's cute."
Why?
"Maybe she'll go out with you."
But I don't want to go out with her.
"Why not?"
I'm not interested, it would cut into my alone time, I'd have to talk and tell her things, she'd probably expect me to want to kiss and stuff or hang out outside of class.
"Thought you said she was cute."
She is! Very!
"So don't you want to do something about it?"
I... what are my options?
"Ask her out."
I'm really, really not interested in that.
"What would you do if she asked you out? Hypothetically."
Get really uncomfortable and feign oblivion and make up an excuse as I did so, but be glad that this means we're friends.

What can you do? Nothing. "My blood type is B. There was a lady in a red coat on the subway today. I think you're super cute, and it's a lot of fun, and that makes me really happy." Those are all the same when I say them, but people have reactions of various types to the last one.

"I wish you were asexual, too, so we could be asexual aromantic together." I can't even explain that to you guys, and I'm laughing about how it can't be explained! "Well... that's when we say to each other 'wow, you're cute, I like you' and then we never, ever, ever talk about it again or acknowledge it, and hardly talk to each other, but we leave each other unsigned little general notes and maybe a few times a year for no reason tiny inexpensive gifts for no reason. We never say thank you for these, we merely express our delight as though the other isn't there (but they probably are listening). To put it in the most blunt of terms bordering on crass and a bit overstated, we don't date anyone at all, but we're not dating each other a little less than we're not dating everyone else in the world." Think Dwight and Angela from The Office seasons 1-5, but subtract the sex and the cute name calling. Torrented that show and have been watching it lately before bed. I especially like the whole not-looking-at-each-other-to-talk thing.

What can I do but keep it to myself? For everyone's sake. It's common courtesy to do so.

Comments

[nevermore.livejournal.com]

The FB comments, aren't mine and I'm not sure I know the person whose they are. I may under a different name, somewhere else, but I can't place a "Paul" off the top of my head. I can't help you there. I wasn't aware comments could be made from FB, either. I also don't RP.

What I can tell you, is your buddy here has made shit tons of enemies and walked all over an equal number of people. If you don't know anything about it, then consider yourself lucky.

The rot he's spouted to people and the people he's spouted it to has developed quite a cult following. I had to see this particular installment, for myself.

If it wasn't erotic, it had to be the other thing: You know, the one where he writes exactly in your style and eventually tries to take over your character. There really was no Option C with this lovely piece of work.

[harpsi-fizz.livejournal.com]

It's cool; I knew you weren't the Facebooker. I only just answered that one today. Besides, I don't even know if Facebook can deliver the reply. So either "Paul" would have to check back every day or it was someone different. It was just eerie to get a new person commenting. No big deal, though. If he comes back, great. If it was just a sniper, what am I gonna do about it? Can't put any stock in people who like to hiss and run. Internet Tough Guys, those snipers.

Yeah, I know of... the troubles. Well, I know of one friend who has had them anyway.

I don't know about the other thing. I'm hhhhhincredibly strong-willed when it comes to RPG, and super protective of my characters. I consider him the one-person fandom of the RPG I have with my RP-BFF G. He wrote tiny snippets of fanfiction for us, but that's all I consider it- fanfiction. See, G has been gone about a year now with Troubles of her own (not related) and I've missed her a lot. Talking to Barrie felt like talking to a fan. Nothing he said struck me as taking over, but, I don't know, that's just this person's lone experience. It was different with me because my RP with G is beyond fortress-level and nobody could infiltrate it if they even tried.

I suppose I'm a different case completely. So I have no room to judge either of you, and I wouldn't either. Did you know that during funeral arranging, a lot of hostility in families comes out? All sorts of people come to the funeral director saying all sorts of things. I believe that it's my job to listen to everyone and sincerely believe them, but in the end, I'm here to bury you, not judge you. So I'll listen all day, I promise, but I'll never try to change your mind about anyone because that'd imply that I think your feelings are wrong. I don't know all the details in this story, but I'm not going to deny you your feelings because I have no idea what you went through.

[nevermore.livejournal.com]

There was more than one. Oh, trust me, there was more than one. Many more than one.

It's a long story how everything came out and how everyone started comparing notes but suffice to say that was his MO. Take a character that was special to a person. Repeat their words, changed juuuuuust a little bit, to make them sound like his. Wow, you really GET me, you UNDERSTAND! That's how you earn their trust. And then, subtly but firmly, push for smut.

Or just waltz into their verse and take over. Either/both, good enough.

He creeped out one person so badly she can't even stand the thought of working with her RP character anymore, and this was something she'd been really into, doing costumes for, going to Cons, that sort of thing.

He's spoiled everything and everyone he's touched. And seeing him interacting like this with you, when I/we have seen more of the REAL Thom than we'd ever care to, well, it's more than a little sickening.

A "silly romantic" wouldn't pick off a room of trauma survivors one by one for customized smut. Someone "lucky to have" his wife wouldn't be trolling the internet for vulnerable women (and sometimes men) to seduce.

Sometimes it's not about judging, but about facts. I do appreciate your open mindedness, you sound like a good person. Just the type he'd go after, too. Someone who tries to see both sides of an issue, and (don't take offense) doesn't come down hard on one side or the other. Someone who maybe doesn't have clear, defined boundaries. A genuine person will appreciate that. A predator like him will take advantage of it.

[harpsi-fizz.livejournal.com]

The strange thing is that sometimes, just sometimes, when something doesn't have any boundaries at all, it becomes like a vapor. I guess that's what I would be in this situation. You can move in on a cloud of vapor, even get inside it, but ultimately, all you get is a cloud surrounding you. You can't actually grab a cloud in your hand because your hand will collapse in on itself.

So what I mean is... is it possibly fair to say that maybe I was one of the people he didn't do that to? That maybe when he was talking to me, he really didn't have any underlying agenda. That doesn't make anything you (or anyone else) went through less real or significant, and it doesn't mean that your feelings are invalid or that you shouldn't feel how you do.

I wonder if there's something about all this that I'm not getting and maybe never will get because of the whole Asex/Aromantic thing, but I'm also wondering this- Imagine a predator who poisoned everything he touched, seduced everything he came into contact with. Then picture a not-really-person who literally could not be seduced or poisoned, and that not-really-person became friends with him, then found out all of these awful things. When everyone around him cast him out because he was blighting everything, wouldn't the N-R-P have twice the defense against it (since they knew it existed and to watch out for it, but they were also unable to be afflicted)? Maybe the person won't even try at that point. And maybe if the N-R-P says "You have done a terrible thing, but that doesn't change the good times we had" and the N-R-P doesn't go anywhere.

I don't really know what I'm trying to say there anymore. I hope I didn't imply that you're trying to make me feel one way or another, because I know you're just telling me your side of the story, and that definitely does deserve to be heard. I actually haven't yet heard anything out of him, I really haven't. So right now, I have no idea where his mind is. I hope you understand why I'm like this- I just get these messages (yours is the third) that are replies to his comments, so there is no other side at all which is why I feel like it would be the height of unfairness if I decided anything. I hope you get what I'm saying. I mean, if suddenly people came to me and said things about you and I hadn't heard from you in months, I wouldn't just... you know?

[paul richmond (from livejournal.com)]

Someone who refuses to defend thereselves proably holds an indefensible position.

[harpsi-fizz.livejournal.com]

Alright, you. You need to leave. Your comments are revealing that you aren't interested in doing anything but trying to get a rise out of people, and leaving sniping remarks. This does nothing to help anyone, but you're not smart enough to see that.

I'm commenting on this particular comment because you saying "thereselves" was the limit. You've proven that you're not a smart person. You're done now.