harp: (LolWut?)
John William Warde - DeathAndReality.com

I've been going here lots lately. It's really graphic stuff, so aside from that article, don't go searching the page unless you want a lot of colored photographs of re-e-eally graphic deaths.

Thanks, Idolhands, for the nudge. I've been meaning to get back here at least to get back to ONTDCreepy, my favorite community. I just haven't wanted to write anything in my journal. Massive, massive depression going on. They have me going to therapy five days a week now; no joke. Some upstate program called PROS. It was this or get locked up in the hospital again. Yeah, that happened, too, from December 20th to the 26th back in 2013. There's no internet in the hospital. How are you supposed to live like that? Not even a radio to distract you while you try to sleep, so the bad thoughts just keep coming and oh, it's just a mess. But I did meet three really nice people. I've gotta e-mail one of them again. She's such a great lady. I really hope she's ok.

(no subject)

Tuesday, January 15th, 2013 12:07 pm
harp: (LolWut?)
LJ, you ugly. I'm crossposting my stuff to Dreamwidth.
You can comment wherever; I'm not leaving - too many of you here and too many memories. Add me and stuff.


DeathSchool is not over yet- my month for taking the Great Big Death Test is August. That's all I'd like to say about that matter.Until then, more interning, more reading, and most importantly, driving lessons. Lots and lots of those. We're not even allowed jobs unless we have those. Lucky for me, I found a school that specializes in drivers with varying issues, like nerves and stuff. My driving teacher is super nice. He says he's the one who specializes in anxious cases.

More importantly, I'm looking for a really fantastic Windows XP installation disk or program so I can fix my main lappy. It got... sick somehow and has been sick for a year. I've got my netbook, but I can't run my tablet on it, which means no drawing (among other things). Everything's on external hard drives, so it wouldn't be so bad if I had to reinstall XP, but I would rather not.

Researching other solutions to the problem, but I'd really like to get this fixed by March. I can do this... if I can go through those million pain-and-a-half steps and successfully root my friggin HTC Rezound then I can do this.

This Story from Morgue that might Upset You

On my last day at Morgue, and I had one of my surreal dreams come true.

Background: I've had a few dreams where my mouth is full of dry skin, like the kind from chapped lips. I keep spitting it out, but it's endless. Not just lip, but parts of the insides of my mouth. I also have the bad habit of chewing the insides of my mouth. If my nerves are bad enough, I can tear tiny strips off.

So as you know, we practice embalming on unclaimed corpses. We clean them up, find the appropriate arteries for injection, and prepare them to be buried in Potter's Field.

My group was cleaning up a woman who had been dead for three months. She had skin slip really, really bad- that's when there's water beneath the top layer of skin and the skin kinda peels off. It's not strictly for the dead- You might'a had it on the soles of your feet at some point.

After we were done and moving her into a body bag, I was told to grab her feet (nobody else in my group wanted to, but it was necessary to move her in a dignified way). I'm sure you can guess where this is going.

We never communicate very well in morgue (I mean, five students are all working on one body), so while I had her feet, two classmates were moving her by her arms. As they pulled at an inopportune time, I felt a super slimy sensation going on, and when I looked, my black mortuary gloves were totally covered in clumped up wet skin.

I just stopped and stared at my hands. I wasn't grossed out or fascinated. I was just like "...hu." That's the only way I can describe my feeling, just "...hu". And I thought This is just like in those dreams.. And Miss, I am so, so sorry. I really am.

I wanted to share that with you guys because it was just... strange. And I tried to tell one of my classmates, but she was utterly squicked and revolted. She doesn't like going to morgue.
harp: (Party for the Hobbits)
Our schedules were e-mailed today. It's just like I expected, and exactly like last time, with the law/business classes on Mondays.

But what's this? Semester ends... November 30th? That's... unexpected. I thought we ended December 13th. Even with finals starting December 3rd, we'd be getting out on the 7th at the latest. Hopefully what they said about last semester being hardest is true.

I've recovered as much as I could from last semester, so now there's nothing more I can do about my nerves other than get into class and see who's there. And even if, by some catastrophic event, every single one of those people is still there, I'll be sure to find a sitting place as far from them as possible. I've got an idea of where I might sit.

The only thing I'm really looking forward to is giving M and A their birthday gifts. I've been personalizing cigar boxes for everyone.
Here are the two I've already gifted )
harp: (Default)
It's finals week, and I'm not going to be OK until Friday. Each test is 200 Questions and if it's a continuation(ish) of last semester's class, stuff from January up until now will appear on the tests.

We started with Microbiology and Funeral Home Directing. The Micro final was described as "nasty", and it sure was. The first 100 Questions were from Semester One, thankfully, but the second set came from the 100+ microbes, their pathogenicities, common names, AKAs, portals of entry/exit, modes of transmission, and the AKAs for their pathogenicities. Stuff like

-The organism Yeseria Pestis's mode of transmission is?
-What is the AKA for the disease given by Aspergillus Fumigatus?
-Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever is caused by (choices are not the names of organisms, but "Bacillus? Streptococci? Streptococcus? Staphylococcus?)
- Q-Fever is caused by (A Rickettsia? A bacteria? A Virus? A Chlamidia? A Spore Former? Two of these? None of these?)
- Psittacosis is transmitted how?
- Franciella Tularensis is (Viscerotrophic? Pneumotrophic? Three more Like This? Two of these answers are correct? None of these are correct?)

I think I did alright enough.
More on Finals, Mood, Frowning Times )

I'm not optimistic about those last three finals. I realize that in these entries it's customary to comment with the "you can do it!" messages, and that's very kind, but I'm not going to take them well. I'm doing my best, but fully expecting a Bad News Phone Call on Monday or Tuesday saying either

(A)"second chance final?"
This is the preferable of the two, I suppose. Since these finals are literally One Half of our Final Grade, if the final wasn't high enough for a passing grade (75%) then a student can take a second chance final. That's if you failed, at maximum, two subjects. Three Subjects and forget it. And lest we forget, Even if a student got A's in everything else, if their final grade in one class is, say, a 73? That's the end of the line; they'll have to re-take that entire semester. I'm thinking that the Dreaded Phone Call will come about Anatomy and/or Path.

(B) "See ya in January!"
And even this I'm gearing up to face. Yeah, it's that bad.

I've got so many feelings about how this all came to pass, and they're the type that unless explained in tl;dr detail, look really, really bad. I'll let them out on the 9th or so, when I know my Final Disposition.

I sure could use some Hardcore Lovely Distraction on Friday/Saturday/Sunday, so I'm camping on Gtalk on that day. Except maybe Sunday. Sunday, I'm thinking of taking a Soma Vacation, so that at least if Hell comes on Monday, I'll be too doped up to care much.
harp: (Default)
Microbiology Test: Ten Microorganisms, their pathogenicity/signs/symptoms, portals of entry, general characteristics, and modes of transmission.

Color and Cosmology quiz. Pffffft.

Wednesday: Anatomy Test: Introduction to bones, types, and material from last semester's first part.
Three Hours in Belvieu morgue

Chemistry exam: Valences, Polyatomic molecules and their valences. 160 questions.
Pathology Exam: Whotheflipknows, whatever we took notes on

Embalming Exam: Chapter 6, the chemicals used in embalming
Funeral Home Management Quiz.

See you next Tuesday.

Act II; Week I

Thursday, May 3rd, 2012 08:05 pm
harp: (Default)
#1- Thank you so much, [livejournal.com profile] violet_eyes for not only putting out a survey, but taking the time to type it and send it to me. It was regarding how British school boys felt about American accents, and it was both hilarious and fascinating. With the prevalence of American TV and movies, I never would've guessed that they'd latch on to the stereotypical Southern one. That's hilarious.

#2- Death School So Far
Death School just got Real Real )

P.S- when I got home, this was waiting for me right beside my door. It startled me a little, but I got a picture. Wonder what kind it is.

harp: (Default)
Doctor MicroBio send our schedule at 9:21 this morning.

Let's look at it together, shall we? )

And bless us, we've got a Hermione in our class. Well, not our class, he's in section L.M and we're in C.D. His name's Ceasar, and he makes these detailed study practice guides for us. He just e-mailed us a "Grade Recorder" he made himself, and along with it, he attached a document titled "McAllister Symbol and History".

Not Sure if Trolling

Wednesday, April 11th, 2012 11:39 am
harp: (Sit back and watch)
This is another Death!School entry. Since there's no more "did I pass?!" anxiety, I wanted to tell you about my embalming final. We can all have a laugh about it.

As you know, Embalming is the most important class I have, since I don't want to own my own funeral home. So of course, I studied like crazy for this final. Our teacher's one of those jovial-yet-eccentric types- imagine Ralph Kramden in a good, confident mood and if he ran a funeral home. Let me tell you about this final exam he gave us. I am not exaggerating or kidding about any of this.

We start off "easy" with a question any teacher would give to make sure someone is paying attention. What is the standard rate of pressure for a normal embalming case?
Two answers with the number 16 in them. One says "pounds per hour", though, when it should be "pounds per minute".

But then we get into stuff like this-

Question: What is the tool used for raising an artery or vein?
The answer is "an aneurysm hook". These were the answers we had to choose from:
a. Anuerysm hook
b. Anyuresm hook
c. Aneurysm hook
d. Anurysm hook

If you didn't look away, go to a separate page, and write "aneurysm" the way you knew how to spell it, you could get pretty confused. Especially considering there were other little typos in the exam.

Here's what's so scary about typos + questions like that.

We learned the term "Agonal algor", which is a pre-death drop in temperature. On the final exam, we were faced with this question in the true/false section:

True/False: Algonal Algor is a pre-death drop in temperature

... Did he mean to write it that way? We know it's "Agonal Algor", and it's easy to see how he could've slipped, but... if we write "true" is he gonna think we think it's "algonal"? If we write false, is he going to know it's because of the typo? And he wasn't even in the room giving us our final, so we couldn't ask. To complicate things further, right at the start of the exam, our proctors told us "For the embalming final, mark down D for question 65" so maybe he checked it for errors and maybe...

Every time I take one of his tests, I feel like if I look up at him, he'll somehow have trollface superimposed over his head and he'll be wearing a shirt that says "problem?"


Tuesday, April 10th, 2012 12:54 pm
harp: (Hooray!)
Monday: No phone call from the school so far to say that I bombed the final and need to take another one. So either they'll call early tomorrow or I'm actually clear. Clear to worry about Chemistry and all of the other things that want worrying about, that is.

Today: Got a text from classmate El. Dean Smith made all the scary phone calls yesterday, and since I didn't get one, that means I'm moving on to semester two of McAllister School for Deathcraft and Deathery.

The next semester starts on the last day of the month. I'll be looking at
Chemistry (Aieee scary! D:)
Pathology (wherein we sit and listen to the teacher describe various diseases and we imagine we're getting them)
Color and Cosmology (make the dead sexy)
Accounting (Yeeeeah, math... I don't know how to math...)
Anatomy II (bones, bones, bones)
Other classes I can't recall right now

And, of course, embalming II. Every week, there's a thing called "Morgue" which is 'zactly what it sounds like- we go to the morgue and we embalm John and Jane Does. I really wish I could take pictures, but that would get me kicked out of school quicker than blinking :(

Going to go search for youtube videos about chemistry now. Wish this headache would go away.
harp: (Default)
And I'm studying like a mad eejit with these self-quizzes I made.


And then watch as the reality is:

:( Save me, Santa Muerte.

Good news: We got a mock Anatomy final. I was convinced, on leaving, that I'd gotten a 60 at best. A few days later, Professor MicroBio Teacher came in and said that the grades were abysmal and that she was worried for us.
Got back my grade, fully expecting a big ol' F. Instead, got an 86. Which is my lowest grade in anatomy, but far better than I expected. Guess I do know the stuff and I don't need to puke myself sick over that final, at least.

Ah well, back to Biz Law. Don't take offense if I'm wickedly silent until the 10th.
harp: (Hooray!)
I've been staying after school every day this week, just reviewing anatomy and studying with the white board. Tried to get others to stay, too, but they mostly all live closer than I do and don't have as annoying a commute. I don't blame them; the school's effing freezing >C

But it was worth it today. We went over circulation to and from the abdomen, the hepatic portal, and the venous return, and everyone was like "BWUH?!" but Harp was like ":3 Learned it yesterday :3 :3 :3". Not out loud, but inwardly. I'm allowed to be secretly happy about that, because my grade in Business Law is vile >:C Guess it's time for reviewing that spit all next week.

And besides, I left an anon message on the whiteboard to help. See, all the arteries in the abdominal circulation are paired left and right, and we'll get points taken off if we aren't specific (As in "Left Superior Mesenteric Artery" >P ). Stay with me, now... the superior and inferior Mesenteric arteries (blood for the small et large intestines) are the only ones without a left and right. So on the board:

Mesenteric Arteries = ME-centric Arteries. (No sharing) (No left or right)

Which looks like a joke Rapunzel'd make. "Mesenteric arteries? Moar liek Me-Centeric LUULLLL amirite?"

OH! OH! SPEAKING OF WHICH! In microbiology, we're learning about controling microbes and stuff, so we're getting definitions like this:

Sepsis: Condition resulting from the presence of pathogenic bacteria
Asepsis: The absence of microbes from a given object
AntiSepsis: Process by which bacterial growth is inhibited on living tissue

And then we get the levels of controlling said microbes, which include "Disinfection" (chemicals directly onto the inanimate object), and Sterilization (destroying all life on an object).

So of course, I'm wondering, "They should put a bacteria into the bacteria. But they should put a bacteria within that bacteria to kill it."

That process, of course, would be called


(I don't feel like hearing it right now, so next week, the Psycic Cometh)
harp: (Pokemon)
I bet we get a new anatomy teacher next year, especially if they merge our class with the group that started in September. I hope they do, because trying to self-teach anatomy is getting exhausting. For everyone! Our first circulation test was so bad (one person passed) that a re-test was given Friday.

"Yeah, I don't even pay attention in class anymore. I tune it out and read it by myself while she talks."
- Unnamed classmate from "the A-Team"

The Psychology test on Thursday was a lot of fun, though. It was scantron, which means nothing we write on the exam paper will be counted.

Answer the following with A for Grief Therapy, B for Grief Counseling, C for Grief Support Group
#34. A young hospice worker who had been working with a patient every Tuesday is trying to come to terms with the death of her patient before she is assigned a new one. What would you recommend?
Scantron Answer- A
Written on the paper: "Tuesdays With Maury". It might not help, but it's a good book, and she might appreciate the irony.

The Etymology Psychic is coming, and the predictions are upsetting.
harp: (Moss Says Hello)
Business Law, Small Business Management, Anatomy, Microbiology, History of Funeral Service, Sociology of Funeral service, Embalming, and Funeral Home directing. Those are the tests I have next week. This week, rather.

I am doing just terribly in those first two. You would not believe how bad. Well... technically I'm only doing badly in one of them, but I'm not sure which because we have them both on Mondays and I can't tell one test from another. So I'll just say I'm doing poorly in both.

Doctor MicroBio says it's because I put all my studying effort into Anatomy and Microbiology. She has a point, but at the same time, I can't help it. I'm not good at science. Or I don't think that I am, which is just as bad (psychologically speaking) when it comes to tests so if I don't study extra hard for those things,

This is kind of a "hell of an unsatisfactory situation" having tests in all of these. It also doesn't help much that for law and business, there's this "feck-all" attitude because we don't talk about death. But it's required.

I always hate reading about people's grades and how they're doing in school, which is why the cut is here. Additional thoughts and lulz about said classes follow.

Sociology of Funeral Service
Confession: I have trolled in this class.

It was the second time meeting and I was still shy. Our teacher, a dear woman who is very enthusiastic, was doing the "go-around-the-room-and-make-each-person-answer" thing, and she asked me twice to speak up. "If you're going to be a funeral director, you've gotta be outgoing and speak up!" She had a point, yes. Just not one that applied to me. I was feeling like I had a spotlight on me already, and then, a few minutes later

Teacher: In fact, what's your religion? *Points to the first person in the first row*
First person: Catholicism
Teacher *points to next person*
Next person: Anglican

Dear God, that's a bit of a personal question, isn't it? I don't really want to-

Teacher: *Points to Harp*
Harp: *Says something quietly*
Teacher: What was that?
Harp: *A little louder, but not understood*
Teacher: Wait, what was that?
Harp: *dead pokerface*... Cthulhuism
Teacher: I... what's that?
Harp: It's a subsection of Lovecraftianism.
Teacher: Is that like Paganism?
Harp: Not at all.
Teacher: Can you spell that for us? *Writes on the board "Cthulhuism" and "Lovecraftianism"* Alright! I'm going to have to look that up! *Moves on to next person*
Harp: *Feels better*

I regret nothing. Shuttie.

Additional Lul )

And on Friday, unexpectedly, the super-duper-mega adorable cute girl with the striped scarf walked right up next to me on the start of the walk home. "Hey, Harp! I thought about you last week!" she said, "My friend was telling me about a geeky burlesque show and last week's theme was Cthulhu!" We talked the eight/ten blocks home. I barely noticed the walk.

I better get the heck to sleep. Feels better now that I got all of that out. Really should X-post this to my DeadJournal.

(no subject)

Sunday, February 5th, 2012 08:28 pm
harp: (Gaga Bright)
Good lord, I hate Business Law and Small Business management. I don't even want to open my own funeral home, not in a billion, squillion years. Just want to be an embalmer. Work for an established funeral home, have an embalming lab down in the basement decorated with glass jars on a shelf. Listen to audio books during work. >:C

But it's required, those dumb classes, since most people want their own funeral homes. A million pain-in-the steps and forms, people try to sue you, property taxes, re-ordering inventory, having to set up the whole thing, insurance, employees, blegh. What's the appeal in that? Money, I guess. For them. But if I'm getting paid enough for rent, internet, and a cat (and food, I suppose?), the rest is just emergency money.

Tunica Adventitia, Pleural Cavity, Aponeurosis
There's so darn much anatomy to do. Tuesday: A test on everything we've learned since January. In theory, it's not too bad, but I'm not sure what I don't know. If that makes sense. I feel like I know everything I need to know, which makes me wonder what I'm not...

I'm boring myself with this entry even. Jeez.

Distal Thoughts
No art for a while. My computer has something most dreadfully wrong with it and will not go past the start screen, and if I tried fixing it now, I'd just end up upsetting myself big time, so it's the Netbook for now. Un/fortunately, netbook doesn't have a tablet hookup.

You were all right about not being paranoid about The A-Team Deathschool Clique. They wouldn't shun a person if they slipped up. Still, I don't want to slip up. Imagine if every single one of them gets inducted into the Death Eaters and I don't? Of all the worst things that could happen that wou-

harp: (Default)
The first three tests (Microbiology, Anatomy, Funeral Directing) went incredibly well. The one we had on embalming on Friday... not so well. Fortunately, I'm not the only one.

Our very first test was on the history of embalming, and wow, is there a lot of history. Who invented the Trochar? Who got caught photographed embalming in the Civil War and made it so that we have to get licenses? Who invented embalming fluid? Who was the first black embalmer?

Professor M must've known we were worried, because he trolled us gewd with the first test. I kid you not, these are some of the items in the "match the name to the things" part of the exam:

"Discovered Capillaries"
"Invented the Trochar"
"Father of embalming"
"Father of modern embalming"
"Embalmed Lincoln"
"Did none of these things"

And then this one: "Derp's Catacomb is named after him" with Joe Derp and William Derp right next to each other as options in the names column.

The first black embalmer was a man named Prince Greere. The other class had that as a multiple choice question. With the other answers multiple spellings of Greere, including "Green". I could practically see the trollface/rage comic spawning from that. I'll probably make it one.

Asexual People Not-Problems for Skipping )

English Major Hack

Wednesday, January 11th, 2012 08:32 pm
harp: (Usagi... er)
This entry is tl;dr bo-ring me ranting about Anatomy I class, so instead, why don't you LOL at some RP inside(ish) jokes?

Feel it, Breathe it, Believe it, And you'll be walking on air )
harp: (Default)
Heiyo Death School!


No picture this week, but I'm updating at least. Right! )

Who wants pictures from my embalming book?! :DDD
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